Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #19, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
209 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1209 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
the number of overseas visitors who went to three different areas—coast, mountains, and lakes—located in European countries from 1987 to 2007.
Lexical resource
RevisedAn examination of the line graph reveals...
Varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
The highest number of visitors was to the coasts.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the graph shows fluctuations in visitor numbers across the three areas.
Clarified the sentence to specify what is fluctuating.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedInitially, the number of visitors to the mountains was slightly higher than to the lakes, but this changed over time.
Clarified the timeline to improve coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy the end of the period, the rankings of the areas had changed, with the coast receiving the most visitors, followed by the lakes and then the mountains.
Provided specific details to enhance clarity.
In the beginning of the period, the number of visitors to the coast was about 40 per thousand. After that, the following decade saw a rapid increase, with the number of visitors to the coast rising to approximately 75 thousand by 2007.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedVisitor numbers experienced a decrease for the next five years until 1992.
Clarified the subject of the sentence.
, starting at 20 thousand in 1987 and reaching roughly 35 thousand by the end of the period.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the mountains steadily rose over two decades...
Simplified the sentence structure for clarity.
, from 10 per thousand in 1987 to 40 thousand in 1997. , when the number peaked at 75 thousand.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe number of visitors to the lakes experienced a significant increase...
Used a different verb to add variety.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis upward trajectory continued until 2002...
Replaced 'trend' with 'trajectory' for lexical variety.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, after that peak, the number sharply declined to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
Added 'peak' for clarity and precision.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically structured, but there are some inaccuracies in the data description.
Suggestions
- Ensure data accuracy when describing trends.
- Use linking words to enhance flow between sentences.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the graph shows fluctuations in visitor numbers across the three areas.
Clarified the sentence to specify what is fluctuating.
RevisedInitially, the number of visitors to the mountains was slightly higher than to the lakes, but this changed over time.
Clarified the timeline to improve coherence.
RevisedBy the end of the period, the rankings of the areas had changed, with the coast receiving the most visitors, followed by the lakes and then the mountains.
Provided specific details to enhance clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedVisitor numbers experienced a decrease for the next five years until 1992.
Clarified the subject of the sentence.
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the mountains steadily rose over two decades...
Simplified the sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedHowever, after that peak, the number sharply declined to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
Added 'peak' for clarity and precision.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some terms are repeated.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAn examination of the line graph reveals...
Varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
RevisedThe number of visitors to the lakes experienced a significant increase...
Used a different verb to add variety.
RevisedThis upward trajectory continued until 2002...
Replaced 'trend' with 'trajectory' for lexical variety.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies in data representation.
Suggestions
- Verify data accuracy when describing trends.
- Ensure all key features of the graph are covered.
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