Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #29, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
249 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1249 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to three attractions in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Clarified the description of the graph and corrected the time expression.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the coast was the undisputed favorite among tourists for most of the period, while the mountains were the least visited of the three.
Corrected grammatical errors and clarified the comparison.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedInterestingly, the number of tourists to all three places increased, with the lakes experiencing the most significant rise despite starting at the bottom.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAt the start of the period, the coast had the highest number of visitors at 40,000, while the lakes had the least at 10,000.
Simplified the sentence and corrected numerical formatting.
Lexical resource
RevisedOver the next five years, the number of visitors to the coast declined significantly by around 5,000.
Improved vocabulary choice and numerical expression.
Lexical resource
RevisedConversely, the number of visitors to the lakes increased significantly by almost 18,000.
Enhanced vocabulary and clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedSubsequently, both figures rose rapidly, with the lakes showing a sharper increase, surpassing 60,000 in 2000 before continuing their trend.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 2002, the number of visitors to the lakes peaked at 75,000, the highest point on the graph, although it later fell considerably to 50,000. Meanwhile, the coast's visitors increased to its highest level, matching the lakes' record by the end.
Improved sentence clarity and corrected grammatical errors.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1987, 20,000 tourists visited the mountains, and this number showed an increasing trend, reaching 35,000 in 2007, despite some fluctuations during the period.
Corrected numerical formatting and improved sentence structure.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear paragraphing and transitions.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
- Include more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the coast was the undisputed favorite among tourists for most of the period, while the mountains were the least visited of the three.
Corrected grammatical errors and clarified the comparison.
RevisedInterestingly, the number of tourists to all three places increased, with the lakes experiencing the most significant rise despite starting at the bottom.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
RevisedAt the start of the period, the coast had the highest number of visitors at 40,000, while the lakes had the least at 10,000.
Simplified the sentence and corrected numerical formatting.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2002, the number of visitors to the lakes peaked at 75,000, the highest point on the graph, although it later fell considerably to 50,000. Meanwhile, the coast's visitors increased to its highest level, matching the lakes' record by the end.
Improved sentence clarity and corrected grammatical errors.
RevisedIn 1987, 20,000 tourists visited the mountains, and this number showed an increasing trend, reaching 35,000 in 2007, despite some fluctuations during the period.
Corrected numerical formatting and improved sentence structure.
RevisedOverall, the coast was the undisputed favorite among tourists for most of the period, while the mountains were the least visited of the three.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary but lacks precision in some areas.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to three attractions in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Clarified the description of the graph and corrected the time expression.
RevisedOver the next five years, the number of visitors to the coast declined significantly by around 5,000.
Improved vocabulary choice and numerical expression.
RevisedConversely, the number of visitors to the lakes increased significantly by almost 18,000.
Enhanced vocabulary and clarity.
RevisedSubsequently, both figures rose rapidly, with the lakes showing a sharper increase, surpassing 60,000 in 2000 before continuing their trend.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks some detail and clarity in comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed comparisons between the attractions.
- Ensure all main features of the graph are covered.
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