Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #30, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

182 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Visitors to three areas (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand visitors)
	The coast	The mountains	The lakes
1987	40	20	10
1992	35	25	25
1997	48	30	40
2002	62	31	75
2007	75	35	50

Academic Task 1182 words

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares the number of foreign travellers that visited three different types of areas in a particular European country over a twenty year period from 1987 to 2007.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
Revisedforeign travelers
Ensure consistent spelling throughout the essay.

Overall, coastal areas attracted the largest amount of foreign tourists in most years of the survey, while mountainous areas ppeared to be the least popular for the most part. In addition, the number of tourists travelling to all three areas increased over the period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, coastal areas consistently attracted the largest number of foreign tourists, whereas mountainous areas were generally the least popular.
Improved clarity and flow by rephrasing.

In 1987, around 40,000 foreign travellers visited the coast of this European country. This figure dropped slightly to around 35,000 visitors, in 1992, after which it began to rise, reaching approximately 75,000 visitors in 2007. Meanwhile, the number of foreign travellers visiting the mountains fluctuated between 20,000 and 30,000 during the first half of the period, befor e rising further to around 35,000 tourists in 2007.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1987, approximately 40,000 foreign travelers visited the coastal areas of this European country.
Improved precision and consistency in terminology.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThis figure dropped slightly to around 35,000 visitors in 1992, after which it began to rise, reaching approximately 75,000 in 2007.
Removed unnecessary commas for better sentence flow.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of foreign travelers visiting the mountains fluctuated between 20,000 and 30,000 during the first half of the period before rising to around 35,000 in 2007.
Corrected spacing and improved sentence structure.

The number of foreign tourists visiting the lakes of this country continually rose over the first fifteen years of the period, peaking at 75,000 visitors in 2002. However, this figure began to drop significantly in the remaining years, reaching 50,000 visitors in 2007.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe number of foreign tourists visiting the lakes steadily increased over the first fifteen years, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
Simplified sentence structure for better coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, this figure dropped significantly in the remaining years, reaching 50,000 in 2007.
Simplified sentence for clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions could be smoother.

Suggestions

Use more varied linking words to improve flow.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Avoid abrupt shifts in focus.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, coastal areas consistently attracted the largest number of foreign tourists, whereas mountainous areas were generally the least popular.
Improved clarity and flow by rephrasing.
RevisedIn 1987, approximately 40,000 foreign travelers visited the coastal areas of this European country.
Improved precision and consistency in terminology.
RevisedThe number of foreign tourists visiting the lakes steadily increased over the first fifteen years, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
Simplified sentence structure for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThis figure dropped slightly to around 35,000 visitors in 1992, after which it began to rise, reaching approximately 75,000 in 2007.
Removed unnecessary commas for better sentence flow.
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of foreign travelers visiting the mountains fluctuated between 20,000 and 30,000 during the first half of the period before rising to around 35,000 in 2007.
Corrected spacing and improved sentence structure.
RevisedHowever, this figure dropped significantly in the remaining years, reaching 50,000 in 2007.
Simplified sentence for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but there are some minor errors and repetitions.

Sentence revisions 4

Revisedappeared
Corrected spelling error.
Revisednumber of foreign tourists
'Number' is more appropriate for countable nouns like 'tourists.'
Revisedbefore
Corrected spacing error.
Revisedforeign travelers
Ensure consistent spelling throughout the essay.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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