Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #37, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
240 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1240 words
The graph below show the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of travelers visiting three different locations in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
'Various places' is vague; 'different locations' is more precise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors in all three categories increased over the period given, with notable differences in trends among the areas.
The revision provides a smoother transition and clearer connection between ideas.
Lexical resource
RevisedNotably, the coast and the lakes had more visitors than the mountains, with the coast reaching the highest number of overseas travelers.
The revision improves clarity and precision.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedWhile there were many visitors to both the coast and the lakes, the number of lake tourists decreased towards the end of the period.
This revision improves the flow and clarity of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1987, 40 thousand individuals visited the coast, while the lakes were the least visited with only 10 thousand people.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy 1992, the number of visitors to the coast decreased rapidly to almost 35 thousand, but by the end of the period, it grew to roughly 75 thousand.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and improves sentence clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFrom 1987 to 2002, the number of tourists visiting the lakes rose sharply from 10 to about 75 thousand before declining to 50 thousand in 2007.
The revision corrects punctuation and improves clarity.
In 1987, the mountains were popular for only 20 thousand travelers, after 5 years, this attraction was visited by more people, composing 30 thousand. During the next 5 years, the quantity of tourists had no change at 30 thousand.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe number of mountain visitors showed a slight increase.
'Increase' is a more precise term than 'rise' in this context.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy 2007, the mountains attracted more visitors, with nearly 35 thousand people traveling there.
The revision enhances clarity and cohesion by rephrasing the sentence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be more cohesive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the number of visitors in all three categories increased over the period given, with notable differences in trends among the areas.
The revision provides a smoother transition and clearer connection between ideas.
RevisedWhile there were many visitors to both the coast and the lakes, the number of lake tourists decreased towards the end of the period.
This revision improves the flow and clarity of the sentence.
RevisedBy 2007, the mountains attracted more visitors, with nearly 35 thousand people traveling there.
The revision enhances clarity and cohesion by rephrasing the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1987, 40 thousand individuals visited the coast, while the lakes were the least visited with only 10 thousand people.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing.
RevisedBy 1992, the number of visitors to the coast decreased rapidly to almost 35 thousand, but by the end of the period, it grew to roughly 75 thousand.
The revision corrects grammatical errors and improves sentence clarity.
RevisedFrom 1987 to 2002, the number of tourists visiting the lakes rose sharply from 10 to about 75 thousand before declining to 50 thousand in 2007.
The revision corrects punctuation and improves clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though some word choices could be more precise.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of travelers visiting three different locations in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
'Various places' is vague; 'different locations' is more precise.
RevisedNotably, the coast and the lakes had more visitors than the mountains, with the coast reaching the highest number of overseas travelers.
The revision improves clarity and precision.
RevisedThe number of mountain visitors showed a slight increase.
'Increase' is a more precise term than 'rise' in this context.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear and relevant summary of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure all key trends are highlighted.
- Provide more specific data points for clarity.
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