Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #39, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
200 words. Marked by Axiom on 23 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1200 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph compares three oversea areas-the coast, the mountains, and the lakes in terms of their visitors in a particular European country from 1987 to 2007, measured in thousands.
Overall, all areas experienced an upward trend, albeit at different levels.
Lexical resource
RevisedNotably, the coast was the most popular destination for visitors over the period, while the mountains had the fewest visitors.
The revision provides the same information but uses more natural and appropriate language.
By contrast, it was observed 20 thousand of visitors to the mountains in 1987. The proportion increased to 30 thousand in 1997, before showing a period of stability until 2002. Subsequently, visiting to the mountain lifted slightly to 35 thousand in 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedStarting at 40 thousand visitors, this figure minimally declined to 35 thousand until 1992 in the coast.
The revision corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedFrom this point onwards, the number of visitors consistently increased for the rest of the period and reached a peak of 75 thousand.
The revision provides the same information but specifies that it is the number of visitors that increased.
With initial 10 thousand visitors, it was the lowest number, until surpassing the mountains and reached a top of 75 thousand in 2002.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of visitors to the lakes grew considerably overall.
The revision provides the same information but uses a more accurate term.
Lexical resource
RevisedDespite the initial growth, the number of visitors dropped sharply to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
The revision provides the same information but uses more precise language.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses a range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases effectively. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using more varied transitional phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph compares the number of visitors (measured in thousands) to three overseas areas - the coast, the mountains, and the lakes in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The revision provides the same information but in a more concise and clear way.
RevisedOverall, all areas experienced an upward trend, though at varying levels.
The revision provides the same information but uses a more varied transitional phrase.
RevisedStarting at 40 thousand visitors, this figure minimally declined to 35 thousand until 1992 in the coast.
The revision corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be improved for better clarity.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe line graph compares the number of visitors (measured in thousands) to three overseas areas - the coast, the mountains, and the lakes in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
The revision corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence.
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of visitors to the lakes grew considerably overall.
The revision provides the same information but uses a more accurate term.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNotably, the coast was the most popular destination for visitors over the period, while the mountains had the fewest visitors.
The revision provides the same information but uses more natural and appropriate language.
RevisedFrom this point onwards, the number of visitors consistently increased for the rest of the period and reached a peak of 75 thousand.
The revision provides the same information but specifies that it is the number of visitors that increased.
RevisedDespite the initial growth, the number of visitors dropped sharply to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
The revision provides the same information but uses more precise language.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and effectively compares the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data points are clearly referenced and explained.
- Consider providing more detailed analysis of the data.
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