Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #31, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
170 words. Marked by Axiom on 3 June 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1170 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The provided line graph illustrates the number of oversea visitors to three various areas in European country-the lakes, the coast, and the mountains from 1987 to 2007. Overall, it is evident that , while the mountains showed more stable trends. Additionally, the coast was the most popular choice throughout the given period.
Lexical resource
Revisedthe lakes experienced a significant increase
The term 'rise' is more commonly used to describe an increase in level or amount, rather than directly referring to people or places. In this context, it would be more appropriate to use 'increase'.
Between 1990 and 2002, it noticeably increased to reach around 72 thousands. However, this figure slightly declined to 50 thousands by 2007. As for , making it the most popular visited area at the start. Although , the figure increased throughout the remaining period, reaching about 73 thousands. This number soared slowly. In contrast, the coast saw a more gradual change rather than mountain.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAt the beginning of the period, the lakes had approximately 10,000 visitors.
The term '10 thousands' is not grammatically correct. It should be '10,000'.
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe coast attracted about 40,000 visitors
The term 'it attracted about 40 thousands' is not grammatically correct. The 'it' is not necessary and the plural form of 'thousands' is not appropriate in this context.
Lexical resource
Revisedthere was a slight decrease in the figure in 1992
The term 'somewhat dropped' is not the most appropriate way to describe a decrease in this context. It would be better to use 'there was a slight decrease'.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMeanwhile, the mountains followed a significantly different trend.
The term 'indicated' is not the best choice of word in this context. 'Followed' is more appropriate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedStarting at around 20,000 visitors, the number rose gradually over the years, ending at around 33,000.
The term '20 thousands' is not grammatically correct. It should be '20,000'. Also, the sentence is a run-on and should be punctuated appropriately.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information is sequenced in a way that makes the comparison between the three areas and the progression over time intuitive. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better connect the ideas and sentences.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and sentences.
- Consider using more varied linking words to better guide the reader through your essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe provided line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country - the lakes, the coast, and the mountains from 1987 to 2007.
Avoid using the term 'various' as it is somewhat informal and does not fit well in an academic context. Also, 'oversea' should be 'overseas'.
RevisedAt the beginning of the period, the lakes had approximately 10,000 visitors.
The term '10 thousands' is not grammatically correct. It should be '10,000'.
RevisedMeanwhile, the mountains followed a significantly different trend.
The term 'indicated' is not the best choice of word in this context. 'Followed' is more appropriate.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the use of grammatical forms could be improved.
Sentence revisions 2
Revisedthe coast attracted about 40,000 visitors
The term 'it attracted about 40 thousands' is not grammatically correct. The 'it' is not necessary and the plural form of 'thousands' is not appropriate in this context.
RevisedStarting at around 20,000 visitors, the number rose gradually over the years, ending at around 33,000.
The term '20 thousands' is not grammatically correct. It should be '20,000'. Also, the sentence is a run-on and should be punctuated appropriately.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe lakes experienced a significant increase
The term 'rise' is more commonly used to describe an increase in level or amount, rather than directly referring to people or places. In this context, it would be more appropriate to use 'increase'.
Revisedit attracted about 40,000 visitors
The term 'thousands' is not typically used in this context. It would be more appropriate to use 'visitors'.
Revisedthere was a slight decrease in the figure in 1992
The term 'somewhat dropped' is not the most appropriate way to describe a decrease in this context. It would be better to use 'there was a slight decrease'.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the graph and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The key features of the graph are identified and described, and the information is accurately and appropriately selected and described. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed analysis of the data and by making more specific comparisons between the different periods and areas.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data, including specific figures and trends.
- Make more specific comparisons between the different periods and areas.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free