Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #47, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
206 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1206 words
The line graph shows the number of overseas visitors to three diferent areas in a european country between 1987 and 2007
The line graph compares the trajectory of foreigners visiting to three different locations, namely, the coast, the mountains and the lakes in a European country over two decades.
, all three locations exhibited a general increase over the period. , with the lakes experienced over the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, although the number of foreign visitors to each area varied considerably...
This revision improves sentence cohesion by making the sentence flow better.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe largest number of overseas visitors were observed at the coast. In contrast, the smallest numbers were seen in the mountains...
Splitting the sentence into shorter ones improves clarity and coherence.
Lexical resource
Revised...drastic fluctuations...
'Drastical' is not a correct adjective form; the correct form is 'drastic'.
Throughout the period, the coast consistently attracted the highest number of foreign visitors in comparison to the other given locations, , with a slight decline in 1992.
Lexical resource
Revised...maintaining its leading position.
'Position' should be singular as it refers to one position being maintained.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedInitially, the number of foreign visitors to the coast was 40,000, increasing moderately to approximately 75,000 by 2007...
Using parallel structure helps achieve grammatical accuracy.
At the start of the period However, by 2002 it increased drastically, reaching a peak at around 75000 and it ranked the second position by the end of the period.
Grammar & accuracy
Revised...the lakes welcomed only 10,000 visitors from abroad.
Numbers should include commas for clarity.
Lexical resource
Revised...despite the subsequent decline to 50,000...
'Subsequent' is more appropriate than 'afterward' for formal writing, and numbers are typically written with commas.
In 1987, the mountains attracted 20000 overseas visitors, which fluctuated over the period, rising to around 35000 by 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConversely, the mountains attracted the least number of visitors over the period.
Using 'Conversely' instead of 'By contrast' maintains the style of the essay and improves coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Some sentences could be better linked for smoother transitions.
Suggestions
- Use conjunctions and linking phrases to improve flow.
- Ensure every paragraph logically connects to the previous one.
- Clarify points by using more cohesive devices.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, although the number of foreign visitors to each area varied considerably...
This revision improves sentence cohesion by making the sentence flow better.
RevisedThe largest number of overseas visitors were observed at the coast. In contrast, the smallest numbers were seen in the mountains...
Splitting the sentence into shorter ones improves clarity and coherence.
RevisedConversely, the mountains attracted the least number of visitors over the period.
Using 'Conversely' instead of 'By contrast' maintains the style of the essay and improves coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures with occasional errors. Sentences are generally error-free but not complex.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe coast consistently attracted the highest number of foreign visitors compared to the other locations, maintaining its leading position.
Simplifying the sentence structure improves clarity.
RevisedInitially, the number of foreign visitors to the coast was 40,000, increasing moderately to approximately 75,000 by 2007...
Using parallel structure helps achieve grammatical accuracy.
Revised...the lakes welcomed only 10,000 visitors from abroad.
Numbers should include commas for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay shows a good range of vocabulary with some less common words and phrases. There are minor errors in word choice and form.
Sentence revisions 3
Revised...drastic fluctuations...
'Drastical' is not a correct adjective form; the correct form is 'drastic'.
Revised...maintaining its leading position.
'Position' should be singular as it refers to one position being maintained.
Revised...despite the subsequent decline to 50,000...
'Subsequent' is more appropriate than 'afterward' for formal writing, and numbers are typically written with commas.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear overview and relevant details for each trend.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points to support descriptions.
- Ensure accuracy of all statistical descriptions.
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