Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #36, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
193 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1193 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
The line graph demonstrates data about how many people visited three different parts of a European country over a period from 1987 to 2007 .
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trends in the number of visitors to both the coast and the mountains . Another interesting point is that the number of tourists to the lakes rose sharply and reached a peak in 2002.
Looking at the details , as regards the mountains , the figure increased moderately from 20 thousand to 30 thousand over a decade from 1987 to 1997.
Lexical resource
RevisedAfter remaining stable at 30,000 until 2002, the figure slightly increased to about 35,000 by the end of the period.
Improved word choice for better clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedRegarding the lakes, although the numbers climbed dramatically from 10,000 to approximately 75,000 between 1987 and 2002, they declined thereafter until 2007.
Clarified the sentence and corrected the timeline.
By contrast, there was a minimal decline in the number of coast visitors from 40 thousand to just about 35 thousand from 1987 to 1992. Following this, the figure boomed to 75 thousand untill the end of the period.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. There is some repetition and lack of variety in linking words.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words and phrases.
- Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
- Avoid repetition of similar ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the graph highlights significant upward trends in visitor numbers to both the coast and the mountains.
This revision reduces redundancy and improves clarity.
RevisedRegarding the mountains, the number of visitors increased moderately from 20,000 to 30,000 between 1987 and 1997.
Simplified the sentence structure for better flow.
RevisedIn contrast, the number of visitors to the coast slightly declined from 40,000 to approximately 35,000 between 1987 and 1992.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and inconsistencies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAnother interesting point is that the number of tourists visiting the lakes rose sharply and peaked in 2002.
Improved grammatical accuracy by using parallel structure.
RevisedIf we look at the lakes, despite climbing dramatically from 10,000 to approximately 75,000 between 1987 and 2002, the figure declined until 2007.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.
RevisedIn contrast, the number of coast visitors minimally declined from 40,000 to about 35,000 between 1987 and 1992.
Corrected grammatical issues and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there is room for more variety and precision.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedNotably, the number of tourists to the lakes surged and peaked in 2002.
Used more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity.
RevisedAfter remaining stable at 30,000 until 2002, the figure slightly increased to about 35,000 by the end of the period.
Improved word choice for better clarity.
RevisedSubsequently, the number surged to 75,000 by the end of the period.
Used more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
RevisedRegarding the lakes, although the numbers climbed dramatically from 10,000 to approximately 75,000 between 1987 and 2002, they declined thereafter until 2007.
Clarified the sentence and corrected the timeline.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and provides an overview of the main trends, but some details could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Include more precise data points to support statements.
- Ensure all trends are clearly explained.
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