Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #28, band 6.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

206 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Visitors to three areas (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand visitors)
	The coast	The mountains	The lakes
1987	40	20	10
1992	35	25	25
1997	48	30	40
2002	62	31	75
2007	75	35	50

Academic Task 1206 words

The graph shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

The line graph illustrates data about the number of foreign countries’ visitors to three different areas: the coast, the mountains, and the lakes in a European country from 1987 to 2007. The data is represented in thousands.

Overall, it readily evident that the numbers of tourists to all areas dramatically increased over the period, despite started less amounts.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, it is evident that the number of tourists to all areas dramatically increased over the period, despite starting with smaller numbers.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.

In detail, the number of visitors to the coast topped the chart with 40 thousand at the beginning period, and then their level slightly decreased to about 35 thousand in 1992. Thereafter, the number of visitors to the coast increased sharply until approximately 2000. Despite this rise, they did not stop increasing until reached around 75 thousand in the end of the period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedInitially, the number of visitors to the coast was 40 thousand, which slightly decreased to about 35 thousand in 1992.
Clarified the sequence of events for better coherence.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedDespite this rise, the numbers continued to increase until they reached around 75 thousand by the end of the period.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.

In terms of the mountains, its visitors were standing at 20 thousand in 1987. Moreover, their numbers were return about after 8 year with fluctuation. However, visitor’s numbers significantly increased until reached just over 30 thousand in 2007.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn terms of the mountains, the number of visitors stood at 20 thousand in 1987.
Corrected grammatical errors for clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedMoreover, their numbers fluctuated around the same level for about 8 years.
Corrected vocabulary and improved clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, the number of visitors significantly increased until it reached just over 30 thousand in 2007.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.

In stark contrast, the number of visitors of the lakes was at the bottom, at just 10 thousand at the beginning of the given timeframe. However, their numbers remarkably rose to reached about 75 thousand over 15 years and then significantly declined in 2007, at 50 thousand.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn stark contrast, the number of visitors to the lakes was initially the lowest, at just 10 thousand at the beginning of the timeframe.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, their numbers rose remarkably to about 75 thousand over 15 years before declining significantly to 50 thousand in 2007.
Improved word choice and sentence structure.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks smooth transitions between ideas.

Suggestions

Use linking words to improve flow.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Avoid abrupt shifts in topics.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, it is evident that the number of tourists to all areas dramatically increased over the period, despite starting with smaller numbers.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
RevisedInitially, the number of visitors to the coast was 40 thousand, which slightly decreased to about 35 thousand in 1992.
Clarified the sequence of events for better coherence.
RevisedIn stark contrast, the number of visitors to the lakes was initially the lowest, at just 10 thousand at the beginning of the timeframe.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, it is evident that the number of tourists to all areas dramatically increased over the period, despite starting with smaller numbers.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedIn terms of the mountains, the number of visitors stood at 20 thousand in 1987.
Corrected grammatical errors for clarity.
RevisedHowever, the number of visitors significantly increased until it reached just over 30 thousand in 2007.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary but lacks precision in some areas.

Sentence revisions 4

RevisedOverall, it is evident that the number of tourists to all areas increased significantly over the period, despite starting with lower numbers.
Improved vocabulary precision.
RevisedMoreover, their numbers fluctuated around the same level for about 8 years.
Corrected vocabulary and improved clarity.
RevisedHowever, their numbers rose remarkably to about 75 thousand over 15 years before declining significantly to 50 thousand in 2007.
Improved word choice and sentence structure.
RevisedDespite this rise, the numbers continued to increase until they reached around 75 thousand by the end of the period.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information but lacks some details.

Suggestions

Include more specific data points from the graph.
Ensure all key trends are clearly described.

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