Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #27, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

174 words. Marked by Axiom on 25 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Visitors to three areas (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand visitors)
	The coast	The mountains	The lakes
1987	40	20	10
1992	35	25	25
1997	48	30	40
2002	62	31	75
2007	75	35	50

Academic Task 1174 words

The graph shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors (in thousands) to three different areas – the coast, the mountains, and the lakes – in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Overall, visits to the coast and the lakes experienced growth, while the mountains saw a more stagnant trend.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, while visits to the coast and the lakes experienced growth, the mountains saw a more stagnant trend.
Improved sentence structure for better flow.

In 1987, the coast was the most popular destination, attracting approximately 40,000 visitors. Initially, there was a dip in visitors to the coast in 1992 (about 35,000), but after that there was a steady, continuous increase until the end of the period in 2007 (around 75,000).

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1987, the coast was the most popular destination, attracting about 40,000 visitors.
Simplified language for consistency.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedInitially, there was a dip in visitors to the coast in 1992 (about 35,000), followed by a steady, continuous increase until 2007 (around 75,000).
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.

Visits to the mountains saw fluctuations over the twenty-year period. Starting at around 20,000 in 1987, there were some peaks and troughs, with the total visitors ending in 2007 around 35,000.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedVisits to the mountains fluctuated over the twenty-year period.
Simplified phrasing for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedStarting at around 20,000 in 1987, the number of visitors fluctuated, ending at around 35,000 in 2007.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

The number of overseas visitors to the lakes showed a dramatic increase between 1987 and 2002, increasing from around 10,000 to a high of 75,000 in 2002. However, visitors numbers reduced in the period from 2002 to 2007, where there were around 50,000 visitors to the lakes.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the lakes dramatically increased from around 10,000 in 1987 to a high of 75,000 in 2002.
Rephrased for conciseness and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, visitor numbers decreased from 2002 to 2007, reaching around 50,000 at the lakes.
Corrected grammatical error and improved clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with clear progression of ideas. However, some comparisons could be more explicit.

Suggestions

Make more explicit comparisons between the areas.
Use linking words to enhance flow.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, while visits to the coast and the lakes experienced growth, the mountains saw a more stagnant trend.
Improved sentence structure for better flow.
RevisedInitially, there was a dip in visitors to the coast in 1992 (about 35,000), followed by a steady, continuous increase until 2007 (around 75,000).
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the lakes dramatically increased from around 10,000 in 1987 to a high of 75,000 in 2002.
Rephrased for conciseness and clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn 1987, the coast was the most popular destination, attracting about 40,000 visitors.
Simplified language for consistency.
RevisedHowever, visitor numbers decreased from 2002 to 2007, reaching around 50,000 at the lakes.
Corrected grammatical error and improved clarity.
RevisedStarting at around 20,000 in 1987, the number of visitors fluctuated, ending at around 35,000 in 2007.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though some phrases are repetitive.

Sentence revisions 4

RevisedOverall, visits to the coast and the lakes increased, whereas the mountains remained relatively stable.
Varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
RevisedInitially, visitor numbers to the coast dipped to about 35,000 in 1992, then steadily increased to around 75,000 by 2007.
Used different expressions to convey the same idea.
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the lakes surged from around 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002.
Used synonyms to enhance lexical resource.
RevisedVisits to the mountains fluctuated over the twenty-year period.
Simplified phrasing for clarity.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, summarizing the main trends and providing relevant data.

Suggestions

Include more specific comparisons between the areas.

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