Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #24, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
193 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1193 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of people who visited three particular areas in a European country over a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the number of visits to all three places increased significantly, with the coast attracting the most visitors for the majority of the period.
The revision clarifies the main idea and improves sentence flow.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNotably, the mountains briefly became the most popular destination before returning to second place.
The revision provides a clearer comparison and sequence of events.
In 1987, the coast attracted 40 thousand people.
Lexical resource
RevisedNext, the numbers fell slightly to around 30 thousand in 1992 before rising steadily until 2007.
Simplified the sentence for clarity and precision.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, the lakes were the least popular destination in 1987.
Corrected the plural form to singular for consistency.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe figures, however, showed a sharp increase from 10 thousand in 1987 to about 75 thousand over the next 15 years, eventually surpassing the coast.
'Sharp' is a more precise term than 'drastic' in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedDespite the significant increase, the number dropped sharply to 50 thousand by 2007.
Clarified the subject for better understanding.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of visitors to the mountains increased gradually.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedStarting at 20 thousand, the figures rose modestly to 30 thousand by 1997.
Corrected preposition for accuracy.
Lexical resource
RevisedThen, it remained almost unchanged over the next five years.
Improved precision and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFinally, there was an increase of 5 thousand from 2002 to 2007.
Corrected preposition for consistency.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. However, some comparisons and transitions could be clearer.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Clarify comparisons between the areas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the number of visits to all three places increased significantly, with the coast attracting the most visitors for the majority of the period.
The revision clarifies the main idea and improves sentence flow.
RevisedNotably, the mountains briefly became the most popular destination before returning to second place.
The revision provides a clearer comparison and sequence of events.
RevisedIn contrast, the lakes were the least popular destination in 1987.
Corrected the plural form to singular for consistency.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedStarting at 20 thousand, the figures rose modestly to 30 thousand by 1997.
Corrected preposition for accuracy.
RevisedFinally, there was an increase of 5 thousand from 2002 to 2007.
Corrected preposition for consistency.
RevisedDespite the significant increase, the number dropped sharply to 50 thousand by 2007.
Clarified the subject for better understanding.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices could be more precise.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe figures, however, showed a sharp increase from 10 thousand in 1987 to about 75 thousand over the next 15 years, eventually surpassing the coast.
'Sharp' is a more precise term than 'drastic' in this context.
RevisedNext, the numbers fell slightly to around 30 thousand in 1992 before rising steadily until 2007.
Simplified the sentence for clarity and precision.
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of visitors to the mountains increased gradually.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
RevisedThen, it remained almost unchanged over the next five years.
Improved precision and clarity.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay accurately describes the graph and includes relevant comparisons.
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