Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #25, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
213 words. Marked by Axiom on 25 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1213 words
The graph shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of international tourists visiting three different natural attractions in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Replaced 'compares how many' with 'illustrates the number of' for precision.
Overall, the number of overseas visitors to these places of interest, namely the coast, mountains and lakes, saw an increase during the whole period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSeaside resorts remained the most popular tourist destinations, except in 2002 when the number of tourists who came to see the lakes overtook that of the coast. Meanwhile, the mountainous zones consistently attracted the least number of foreign visitors.
The sentence was split to improve clarity and flow.
40,000 visitors came to see the former attractions, which is four times as many as that of the latter ones (10,000). Meanwhile, the number of international travellers keen to visit the lakes in the country experienced a constant growth, reaching a peak of 75,000 visitors in 2002, with lakes surpassing the mountains first in 1992, then the coast in popularity before plunging to about 50,000 in 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe beaches and the lakes in this European country consistently rivaled each other to attract the most foreign tourists.
Added 'each other' for clarity and improved sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite a slight fall of about 5,000 in 1992, the figures for beach lovers increased steadily to 75,000 by 2007.
Removed unnecessary past perfect tense for simplicity and accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn comparison, the number of people visiting the mountains increased by 15,000, from 20,000 to 35,000, with some fluctuations in the late 1990s.
Added a comma for clarity and corrected the number format.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overall progression. However, some sentences could be more logically connected.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSeaside resorts remained the most popular tourist destinations, except in 2002 when the number of tourists who came to see the lakes overtook that of the coast. Meanwhile, the mountainous zones consistently attracted the least number of foreign visitors.
The sentence was split to improve clarity and flow.
RevisedThe beaches and the lakes in this European country consistently rivaled each other to attract the most foreign tourists.
Added 'each other' for clarity and improved sentence structure.
RevisedDespite a slight fall of about 5,000 in 1992, the figures for beach lovers increased steadily to 75,000 by 2007.
Removed unnecessary past perfect tense for simplicity and accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe beaches and lakes in this European country consistently competed to attract the most foreign tourists.
Corrected the verb form for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedDespite a slight fall of about 5,000 in 1992, the figures for beach lovers increased steadily to 75,000 by 2007.
Corrected the use of past perfect tense to simple past for accuracy.
RevisedIn comparison, the number of people visiting the mountains increased by 15,000, from 20,000 to 35,000, with some fluctuations in the late 1990s.
Added a comma for clarity and corrected the number format.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though some expressions could be more precise or varied.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of international tourists visiting three different natural attractions in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Replaced 'compares how many' with 'illustrates the number of' for precision.
RevisedThe beaches and lakes in this European country consistently competed to attract the most foreign tourists.
Replaced 'rivaled' with 'competed' for more precise meaning.
RevisedMeanwhile, the number of international travelers visiting the lakes experienced steady growth, peaking at 75,000 visitors in 2002.
Simplified the sentence for clarity and precision.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, summarizing key trends and making relevant comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
- Include more specific data to support statements.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free