Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #26, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
255 words. Marked by Axiom on 25 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1255 words
The graph shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors to the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Used 'illustrates' for variety and precision.
While the lakes were the places that saw the biggest rise, the mountains had the smallest increase in the number of people visiting them from abroad.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the number of overseas travelers to all three destinations grew, but the extent and pattern of growth varied.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe coast was the most popular destination among overseas travelers in nearly all the years, whereas the mountains were the least popular.
Removed unnecessary words for conciseness.
According to the graph, the lakes saw the most substantial rise in the number of their overseas visitors.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of foreign visitors initially increased steadily from 10,000 in 1987 to 50,000 in 2000, followed by a sharp rise to an all-time high of 75,000 in 2002.
Revised for parallel structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedHowever, this was followed by a sharp decline to 50,000 five years later.
Replaced 'sudden drop' with 'sharp decline' for variety.
This growth persisted for the rest of the period, culminating at a record high of 75,000 and making it by far the most popular option among overseas guests.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe number of foreign visitors to the coast showed an upward trend.
Used a more precise verb to describe the trend.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAlthough the number dropped by 5,000 to about 35,000 in 1992, it quickly recovered in the subsequent years, reaching just over 60,000 in 2000.
Clarified subject for better understanding.
Lexical resource
RevisedConversely, the mountains were generally the least favored tourist spots among foreigners.
Used 'conversely' and 'least favored' for variety.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of visitors initially fluctuated between 20,000 and 30,000 until 2000, after which it rose moderately to around 35,000 in 2007.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure. Information is logically ordered, and comparisons are made effectively.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the number of overseas travelers to all three destinations grew, but the extent and pattern of growth varied.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
RevisedThe coast was the most popular destination among overseas travelers in nearly all the years, whereas the mountains were the least popular.
Removed unnecessary words for conciseness.
RevisedThe number of foreign visitors to the coast showed an upward trend.
Used a more precise verb to describe the trend.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with high accuracy. There are few errors present.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe number of foreign visitors initially increased steadily from 10,000 in 1987 to 50,000 in 2000, followed by a sharp rise to an all-time high of 75,000 in 2002.
Revised for parallel structure and clarity.
RevisedAlthough the number dropped by 5,000 to about 35,000 in 1992, it quickly recovered in the subsequent years, reaching just over 60,000 in 2000.
Clarified subject for better understanding.
RevisedThe number of visitors initially fluctuated between 20,000 and 30,000 until 2000, after which it rose moderately to around 35,000 in 2007.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some less common words. However, there could be more variety in word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors to the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
Used 'illustrates' for variety and precision.
RevisedHowever, this was followed by a sharp decline to 50,000 five years later.
Replaced 'sudden drop' with 'sharp decline' for variety.
RevisedConversely, the mountains were generally the least favored tourist spots among foreigners.
Used 'conversely' and 'least favored' for variety.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure all trends and data points are accurately described.
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