Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #45, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
192 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1192 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country betweeen 1987 and 2007
The line graph illustrates overseas visitors who visited three different locations in a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Overall, the coast was the most visited area over almost the entire period, with a significant upturn. The mountains, on the other hand, were the least chosen throughout.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAlthough the lakes exhibited a dramatic increase, ranking first in 2002, they eventually were second to the coast in total visitors.
This revision clarifies the relationship and order of events, providing better transparency of the analysis.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe number of visitors to the coast started at 40 thousand in 1987, but decreased slightly to 35 thousand shortly after.
Specifying the time enhances clarity and cohesiveness.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite this decline, the number of visitors to the coast surged to 75 thousand by the final year, marking the highest point among all locations.
Improved clarity by stating the specific period and providing a clear reference point for comparison.
This figure increased drastically, taking the lead at approximately 80 thousand foreign visitors in 2002.
Lexical resource
RevisedInitially, the lakes attracted only 10 thousand visitors.
Use past tense to maintain consistency with the rest of the narrative.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, the number of visitors dramatically decreased to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
Improved clarity and coherence by using 'However' as a fitting transition.
In 1987, the mountains had 20 thousand, which then grew and fluctuated over the period. In the final year, this figure reached 35 thousand visitors.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedEven though the mountains showed a steady increase, they remained the least visited area throughout the period.
The contrast transition wasn't necessary as it implied difference not clearly expressed. Simplifying it aids clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with clear progression. Cohesion is maintained, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Improve transition between paragraphs.
- Use a consistent structure when comparing trends.
- Clarify relationships between data points.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough the lakes exhibited a dramatic increase, ranking first in 2002, they eventually were second to the coast in total visitors.
This revision clarifies the relationship and order of events, providing better transparency of the analysis.
RevisedEven though the mountains showed a steady increase, they remained the least visited area throughout the period.
The contrast transition wasn't necessary as it implied difference not clearly expressed. Simplifying it aids clarity.
RevisedDespite this decline, the number of visitors to the coast surged to 75 thousand by the final year, marking the highest point among all locations.
Improved clarity by stating the specific period and providing a clear reference point for comparison.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The grammatical structure is varied and accurate with few errors. Sentence structure is mostly clear.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe number of visitors to the coast started at 40 thousand in 1987, but decreased slightly to 35 thousand shortly after.
Specifying the time enhances clarity and cohesiveness.
RevisedHowever, the number of visitors dramatically decreased to 50 thousand by the end of the period.
Improved clarity and coherence by using 'However' as a fitting transition.
RevisedInitially, the lakes attracted a mere 10 thousand visitors.
Corrected verb tense to maintain consistency throughout the description.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The lexical resource is varied with appropriate word choice, though some occasional repetitions and simplifications are present.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedInitially, the lakes attracted only 10 thousand visitors.
Use past tense to maintain consistency with the rest of the narrative.
RevisedShowed a substantial increase.
Avoid overusing dramatic descriptions; 'substantial' fits the context without exaggeration.
RevisedAlthough the lakes saw a substantial rise, eventually taking the lead for a brief period.
Improves accuracy by showing the timeframe and scale without overstatement.
RevisedReached its peak in the final year.
Clarifies that the peak occurred at the final year rather than 'domination,' which implies a broader timeframe.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay adequately describes the graph and provides appropriate comparisons, fulfilling the task requirements.
Suggestions
- Ensure all comparisons are explicitly clear.
- Double-check numerical data for accuracy in description.
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