Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #21, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
173 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1173 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph gives information about the number of overseas people who visited the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country in a 20-year period, 1987-2007. Overall, the number of visitors to the coast and the mountains showed upward trends over the given period, and the figure for coast visitors remained the dominant area among the three areas. In 1987, the coast was the primary area of the number of overseas visitors in European countries. The mountains ranked second in this category with 20,000 visitors, followed by the lakes at 10,000 visitors.By 2007, the number of visitors who visited the mountains, which had started at an average level, increased noticeably by 35,000 and ranked as the lowest figure in this category. The figure for the lakes grew by 50,000 at the end of the period. Noticeably, the figure for the lakes remained dominant with 75 thousand in the number of overseas visitors over the period.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe number of visitors to the lakes was the lowest in this category, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
This revision provides a more natural and appropriate word choice.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses appropriate cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through the text. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe provided line graph illustrates the trends in the number of overseas visitors to the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country over a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007.
This revision provides a more formal and precise introduction to the topic.
RevisedThe lakes registered the lowest number of visitors in this category, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
This revision improves the clarity and conciseness of the sentence.
RevisedIn 1987, the coast was the primary destination for overseas visitors in European countries.
This revision clarifies the meaning of the sentence and improves the choice of vocabulary.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe number of visitors to the lakes was the lowest in this category, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
This revision corrects the awkward repetition of 'figure'.
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the lakes remained the lowest over the period, at 75,000.
This revision corrects the incorrect use of 'dominant'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe number of visitors to the lakes was the lowest in this category, peaking at 75,000 in 2002.
This revision provides a more natural and appropriate word choice.
RevisedThe number of overseas visitors to the lakes remained the lowest over the period, at 75,000.
This revision corrects the awkward and incorrect use of 'dominant' and 'in the number'.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and well supported.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully unpack the meaning of the graph in your analysis. Make sure to explain all the key features and significant trends.
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