Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #22, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

160 words. Marked by Axiom on 21 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Visitors to three areas (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand visitors)
	The coast	The mountains	The lakes
1987	40	20	10
1992	35	25	25
1997	48	30	40
2002	62	31	75
2007	75	35	50

Academic Task 1160 words

Task 1. The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

The line graph illustrates how many international visitors, in thousand, visited three areas of a Eropean country from 1987 to 2007.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThe line graph illustrates how many international visitors, in thousands, visited three areas of a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Corrected noun form and spelling.

Overall, it is obvious that the coast part of a country was the most visited area in both begginning and ending periods, and the number of lake visitors saw a dramatic rise.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, the coast was the most visited area throughout the period, while the number of lake visitors experienced a dramatic rise.
Simplified and clarified the sentence for better coherence.

To start with the coast, despite a gradual decrease in 1982, the number of tourists sharply increased from 40 to 70, in 1987 and 2007 respectively. As for the lake visitors, the numberof travellers had experienced a gradual increase by 1997, rising by 23 from 10 in the beginning of the period. The numbers, afterwards, reached its peak of 75 in 2002, albeit a fall in 2007 (53).

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedStarting with the coast, after a slight decrease in 1987, the number of tourists increased sharply from 40,000 in 1987 to 70,000 in 2007.
Corrected the timeline and clarified the data for coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedAfterwards, the numbers reached their peak of 75,000 in 2002, although there was a fall to 53,000 in 2007.
Corrected subject-verb agreement and clarified the sentence.

Meanwhile, the mountains became the least visited in about 1990, having a slight rise of one thousand in 1992. Starting from 1995, the number fluctuated noticably, althoug it ended up the period with the smallest share of visitors (30).

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedMeanwhile, the mountains became the least visited area around 1990, with a slight increase of 1,000 visitors in 1992.
Clarified the sentence for better understanding and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedStarting from 1995, the number fluctuated noticeably, although it ended the period with the smallest share of visitors at 30,000.
Corrected spelling and clarified the sentence.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and overview. However, there are some inconsistencies in the flow of information and occasional lack of clarity.

Suggestions

Ensure logical progression of ideas.
Use linking words to enhance coherence.
Clarify any ambiguous statements.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, the coast was the most visited area throughout the period, while the number of lake visitors experienced a dramatic rise.
Simplified and clarified the sentence for better coherence.
RevisedStarting with the coast, after a slight decrease in 1987, the number of tourists increased sharply from 40,000 in 1987 to 70,000 in 2007.
Corrected the timeline and clarified the data for coherence.
RevisedMeanwhile, the mountains became the least visited area around 1990, with a slight increase of 1,000 visitors in 1992.
Clarified the sentence for better understanding and coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with several errors in tense and agreement.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedAfterwards, the numbers reached their peak of 75,000 in 2002, although there was a fall to 53,000 in 2007.
Corrected subject-verb agreement and clarified the sentence.
RevisedThe line graph illustrates how many international visitors, in thousands, visited three areas of a European country from 1987 to 2007.
Corrected noun form and spelling.
RevisedStarting from 1995, the number fluctuated noticeably, although it ended the period with the smallest share of visitors at 30,000.
Corrected spelling and clarified the sentence.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some spelling errors and occasional awkward phrasing.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedEuropean country
Corrected spelling error.
Revisedbeginning
Corrected spelling error.
Revisednoticeably
Corrected spelling error.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and includes key features of the graph, but some details are inaccurately reported.

Suggestions

Ensure accuracy in reporting data.
Include all key features of the graph.
Avoid unnecessary details.

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