Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #33, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

146 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand visitors. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Visitors to three areas (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand visitors)
	The coast	The mountains	The lakes
1987	40	20	10
1992	35	25	25
1997	48	30	40
2002	62	31	75
2007	75	35	50

Academic Task 1146 words

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The line graph illustrates how many overseas people visited the coast, mountains and lakes in a European country over a 10-year period from 1987 to 2007.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country over a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007.
Corrected the period mentioned and improved vocabulary.

Overall, it is clear that during the whole period the coast was dominant in contrast to mountains and lakes, meanwhile, the lakes witnessed a signicant rise close to the end of 2002 year.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, during the entire period, the coast was the most popular destination, while the lakes experienced a significant rise towards the end of 2002.
Improved sentence structure for clarity and conciseness.

In the beginning of the 1987 the lakes were in the least for 10.000 visitors and steeply increased overcoming 70 thousands. When it comes to the mountains, basically, remained unchanged, although they grew close to 35 thousands in 2007.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1987, the lakes had the fewest visitors, with only 10,000, but this number steeply increased to over 70,000.
Clarified the timeline and numerical information.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe number of visitors to the mountains remained relatively stable, although it increased to nearly 35,000 by 2007.
Enhanced vocabulary and clarity.

Apparently, the coast was the top area visited by many visitors, from the start it was equally 40 thousands and from 1992 till the end of the period it experienced a gradual growth by 35 thousands and still was the most visited country by a number of people.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but lacks clear paragraphing and transitions.

Suggestions

Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
Include linking words to enhance flow.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, during the entire period, the coast was the most popular destination, while the lakes experienced a significant rise towards the end of 2002.
Improved sentence structure for clarity and conciseness.
RevisedIn 1987, the lakes had the fewest visitors, with only 10,000, but this number steeply increased to over 70,000.
Clarified the timeline and numerical information.
RevisedThe coast was the most visited area, starting with 40,000 visitors and experiencing a gradual increase of 35,000 from 1992 to the end of the period, remaining the most popular destination.
Enhanced clarity and coherence by restructuring the sentence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn 1987, the lakes had the fewest visitors, with only 10,000, but this number steeply increased to over 70,000.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedThe number of visitors to the mountains remained relatively stable, although it increased to nearly 35,000 by 2007.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.
RevisedThe coast was consistently the top destination, starting with 40,000 visitors and gradually increasing by 35,000 from 1992 to the end of the period, maintaining its popularity.
Improved grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition and minor errors.

Sentence revisions 4

RevisedThe line graph illustrates the number of overseas visitors to the coast, mountains, and lakes in a European country over a 20-year period from 1987 to 2007.
Corrected the period mentioned and improved vocabulary.
RevisedOverall, the coast remained the most popular destination throughout the period, while the lakes saw a significant increase towards the end of 2002.
Improved lexical choice for clarity and precision.
RevisedThe number of visitors to the mountains remained relatively stable, although it increased to nearly 35,000 by 2007.
Enhanced vocabulary and clarity.
RevisedThe coast was consistently the top destination, starting with 40,000 visitors and gradually increasing by 35,000 from 1992 to the end of the period, maintaining its popularity.
Improved lexical variety and precision.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and accuracy in some parts.

Suggestions

Include more precise data from the graph.
Ensure all trends are accurately described.
Avoid generalizations and provide specific details.

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