Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #10, band 5.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
226 words. Marked by Axiom on 28 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1226 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph shows the number of visitors who visited three regions of European countries whole the period. In general, significant increase trends the number of visitors to the coast and mountains showed , while On the other hand , the coast had highest the number of visitors between 1987 and 2007 .
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe number of visitors to the lakes fluctuated, especially towards the end of the period.
Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the sentence.
Looking at the details, as regard coast the highest the number of visitors 40,000 reported in 1987, it dropped to 35,000 in 1992 . At the same time, it can be seen that the rise of visitors from 1997 to 2007 to 75 thousand people was one of the most amazing things . It differs from other regions in that the mountains grow steadily and without declines . Because in 1987, it had 20,000 tourists, but later it increased to 35,000 people. In other words, coast and mountains recorded almost the highest indicators .
In 1987 , the lakes showed the lowest number of visitors, 19, 000 people. But these indicators suddenly increase and then fall to 45 thousand visitors. It is clear that despite the fact that the lakes have fallen level, it still managed to attract 75,000 tourists.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy 1997, the number of visitors increased to 40,000, which can be considered remarkable growth.
Improves grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. There are abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Organize information logically.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn general, there was a significant increase in the number of visitors to the coast and mountains.
Clarifies the sentence structure and meaning.
RevisedHowever, the coast had the highest number of visitors between 1987 and 2007.
Improves coherence by using a more appropriate linking word.
RevisedLooking at the details, the coast had 40,000 visitors in 1987, which was the highest number at that time.
Clarifies the sentence and improves readability.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe number of visitors to the lakes fluctuated, especially towards the end of the period.
Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the sentence.
RevisedLooking at the details, the coast had 40,000 visitors in 1987, which was the highest number at that time.
Corrects sentence structure and grammatical errors.
RevisedBy 1997, the number of visitors increased to 40,000, which can be considered remarkable growth.
Improves grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and contains several errors in word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthere was a significant increase in the number of visitors to the coast and mountains.
Corrects the word choice and improves clarity.
RevisedIt is clear that despite the decline in the number of visitors to the lakes.
Improves word choice and grammatical correctness.
Reviseda remarkable growth.
Uses a more formal and appropriate adjective.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay attempts to describe the graph but lacks clarity and precision in data representation.
Suggestions
- Clearly describe trends and specific data points.
- Ensure accurate representation of data.
- Provide a clear overview of the graph.
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