Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #8, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
222 words. Marked by Axiom on 19 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1222 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph compares the number of travelers visiting three different areas – the coast, mountains, and lake – of one European country from 1987 to 2007.
Overall, the coast attracted the highest volumes of tourists for a significant part of the timespan. The lake, on the other hand, showed notable increases later in the period, whereas the least popular resort was the mountains throughout all years.
However, the figure quickly recovered, and this resort attracted a whooping 60,000 travelers in 2002, before finishing at 70,000 in 2007.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 1987, a significant 40,000 tourists visited the coast, followed by a slight decline to about 35,000 by 1992.
Corrected the years and figures to accurately reflect the graph.
The lake, by contrast, was not commonplace among overseas tourists, accounting for 10,000 in 1987. Over the following five years, this number had tripled and reached 30,000 in 1982, after which there was a sharp increase to 75,000 by 2002.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedReaching its peak, the lake saw a decline and culminated in around 50,000 at the end of the period.
Adjusted the final figure to match the graph data.
Lastly, the mountains remained stable during the same timeframe, starting at 20,000 visitors. For the first five years, there was no change, hovering at its initial figure, but it saw a rise to about 28,000 visitors by 1997.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFollowing this, the trend witnessed a drop to just over 20,000 tourists, albeit improving to 35,000 in 2007.
Corrected the final figure for clarity and accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are minor inaccuracies in the data description.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data trends.
- Use more varied linking words.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1987, a significant 40,000 tourists visited the coast, followed by a slight decline to about 35,000 by 1992.
Corrected the years and figures to accurately reflect the graph.
RevisedReaching its peak, the lake saw a decline and culminated in around 50,000 at the end of the period.
Adjusted the final figure to match the graph data.
RevisedFollowing this, the trend witnessed a drop to just over 20,000 tourists, albeit improving to 35,000 in 2007.
Corrected the final figure for clarity and accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with high accuracy. Minor errors do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe trend saw a drop to just over 20,000 tourists.
Simplified structure for clarity.
RevisedHowever, the figure quickly recovered, with the resort attracting a whopping 60,000 travelers in 2002.
Improved sentence structure for better flow.
RevisedThe lake saw a decline, culminating in around 55,000 at the end of the period.
Improved sentence structure for grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some precise word choices. However, there are occasional inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA whopping 60,000 travelers in 2002.
Corrected spelling for accuracy.
RevisedThe lake, by contrast, was less popular among overseas tourists.
Improved word choice for clarity.
RevisedThe mountains remained the least popular destination throughout the period.
Enhanced clarity and precision of expression.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task well, providing a clear overview and detailed data. Some data inaccuracies are present.
Suggestions
- Verify data accuracy against the graph.
- Ensure all trends and comparisons are clearly stated.
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