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Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 6.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

175 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The map this answer describes

Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: what the maps show

2009

  • Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
  • Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.

2014

  • Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
  • A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
  • There are more residential-building symbols and trees.

Academic Task 1175 words

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe maps depict the transformations in Darwin's waterfront area between 2009 and 2014.

    Used more precise vocabulary.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, the major changes included the removal of industrial areas and an increase in amenities.

    Simplified for clarity and coherence.

A swimming pool was situated to the southeast, near the coastline with a sea in the southeast.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedIn 2009, the school was located in the northwest, with a convention center to the northeast. The convention center was surrounded by an industrial area, and a few residential buildings were outside the circular footpath.

    Reorganized for clarity and coherence.

The school, convention center, and fishing area remained in the same locations.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedBy 2014, the industrial area was replaced with trees, enhancing the environmental friendliness of the area.

    Revised for clarity and logical flow.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe number of residential buildings doubled, and a university building was added to the west.

    Improved vocabulary precision and sentence structure.

  3. Lexical resource

    RevisedAdditionally, the waterfront saw the construction of a harbor in the southeast and a second swimming pool in the north.

    Used varied vocabulary and improved sentence structure.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay provides a general overview of the changes and some specific details, but lacks clear organization and logical flow.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Organize the information in a more logical sequence.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, the major changes included the removal of industrial areas and an increase in amenities.

    Simplified for clarity and coherence.

  • RevisedIn 2009, the school was located in the northwest, with a convention center to the northeast. The convention center was surrounded by an industrial area, and a few residential buildings were outside the circular footpath.

    Reorganized for clarity and coherence.

  • RevisedBy 2014, the industrial area was replaced with trees, enhancing the environmental friendliness of the area.

    Revised for clarity and logical flow.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward phrasing.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn 2009, the school was located in the northwest, with a convention center to the northeast. The convention center was surrounded by an industrial area, and a few residential buildings were outside the circular footpath.

    Corrected run-on sentence and improved clarity.

  • RevisedThe number of residential buildings doubled, and a university building was added to the west.

    Corrected tense inconsistency and improved sentence structure.

  • RevisedBy 2014, the industrial area was replaced with trees, enhancing the environmental friendliness of the area.

    Simplified sentence structure for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some words are repetitive and lack precision.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe maps depict the transformations in Darwin's waterfront area between 2009 and 2014.

    Used more precise vocabulary.

  • RevisedThe number of residential buildings doubled, and a university building was added to the west.

    Improved vocabulary precision and sentence structure.

  • RevisedAdditionally, the waterfront saw the construction of a harbor in the southeast and a second swimming pool in the north.

    Used varied vocabulary and improved sentence structure.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information, but lacks some detail and precision.

Suggestions

  • Include more specific details from the map.
  • Ensure all major changes are clearly described.

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