Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #16, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
180 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1180 words
The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town calles darwin between 2009 and 2014.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe maps depict the transformation of Darwin's waterfront area between 2009 and 2014.
Used a more precise verb to describe the maps.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the removal of the industrial area and the addition of new facilities, such as a university building and a harbour, significantly transformed the waterfront area.
Clarified the sentence structure and improved the logical flow.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe school, convention center, fishing area, lake, swimming pool, sea, trees around the lake, and three main residential buildings remained largely unchanged.
Corrected spelling errors for clarity.
In the north-western corner, there was a convention center. In the east side, there was sea with small swimming pool and in the north-eastern corner, there was fishing zone.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2009, the waterfront area was dominated by a large industrial zone and the sea.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe industrial area was located in the heart of the town.
Corrected subject-verb agreement.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy 2014, the town had undergone significant changes following the renovation.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe removal of the industrial area made room for a university building, several houses, and numerous trees.
Improved vocabulary precision and variety.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA harbour was added between the sea and the swimming pool, which was more convenient.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, a swimming pool was introduced in the north-western corner.
Used a more appropriate transition word and verb.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay provides a basic overview of the changes but lacks clear organization and logical flow.
Suggestions
- Organize the essay into clear paragraphs.
- Use linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the changes.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the removal of the industrial area and the addition of new facilities, such as a university building and a harbour, significantly transformed the waterfront area.
Clarified the sentence structure and improved the logical flow.
RevisedIn 2009, the waterfront area was dominated by a large industrial zone and the sea.
Simplified the sentence for clarity.
RevisedBy 2014, the town had undergone significant changes following the renovation.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the removal of the industrial area and the addition of new facilities, such as a university building and a harbour, significantly transformed the waterfront area.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedThe industrial area was located in the heart of the town.
Corrected subject-verb agreement.
RevisedA harbour was added between the sea and the swimming pool, which was more convenient.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe maps depict the transformation of Darwin's waterfront area between 2009 and 2014.
Used a more precise verb to describe the maps.
RevisedFurthermore, a swimming pool was introduced in the north-western corner.
Used a more appropriate transition word and verb.
RevisedThe removal of the industrial area made room for a university building, several houses, and numerous trees.
Improved vocabulary precision and variety.
RevisedThe school, convention center, fishing area, lake, swimming pool, sea, trees around the lake, and three main residential buildings remained largely unchanged.
Corrected spelling errors for clarity.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed descriptions and comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details from the map.
- Make clear comparisons between the two time periods.
- Ensure all significant changes are mentioned.
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