Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #15, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
185 words. Marked by Axiom on 10 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1185 words
The map below shows the changes that have taken palce at the waterfront area of a town calles Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe maps depict transformations in a coastal region from 2009 to 2014.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary to describe the changes.
The number of buildings remained the same but the surrounding environment changed .
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the area underwent significant development, marked by the removal of the industrial zone and the introduction of additional recreational and educational facilities.
The revision uses varied vocabulary to enhance coherence.
In 2009, the central part of the map was mainly occupied by an industrial area, with a few trees around it. There was a lake in the north-east, a school and a convention center in the north-west, and a swimming pool on the eastern coast.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe residential buildings were situated adjacent to the lake.
The use of 'situated adjacent to' provides more precise location description.
Another swimming pool was built on the north-west coast.
Lexical resource
RevisedBy 2014, the industrial area was entirely removed and supplanted by green spaces and additional trees.
The revision uses synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA university building was constructed to the left of the residential area, and a harbour was added in the southeast part near the sea.
The revision corrects the preposition and direction term for clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdditionally, footpaths were introduced to improve access throughout the area.
The revision clarifies the purpose of the footpaths and improves sentence flow.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn conclusion, the area transformed from an industrial-focused place into a more environmentally friendly and educational zone with enhanced recreational facilities.
The revision uses 'into' for a more accurate transformation description.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure. Transitions between ideas are smooth, and the overall progression is logical.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid repetitive sentence structures.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the area underwent significant development, marked by the removal of the industrial zone and the introduction of additional recreational and educational facilities.
The revision uses varied vocabulary to enhance coherence.
RevisedWhile the number of buildings remained constant, the surrounding environment underwent considerable change.
The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast between the static and dynamic elements.
RevisedAdditionally, footpaths were introduced to improve access throughout the area.
The revision clarifies the purpose of the footpaths and improves sentence flow.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe number of buildings remained the same, but the surrounding environment changed.
A comma is added for correct punctuation.
RevisedA university building was constructed to the left of the residential area, and a harbour was added in the southeast part near the sea.
The revision corrects the preposition and direction term for clarity.
RevisedIn conclusion, the area transformed from an industrial-focused place into a more environmentally friendly and educational zone with enhanced recreational facilities.
The revision uses 'into' for a more accurate transformation description.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some attempts at using less common words.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe maps depict transformations in a coastal region from 2009 to 2014.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary to describe the changes.
RevisedIn 2009, the central section of the map was predominantly occupied by an industrial area.
The use of 'predominantly' adds variety and precision.
RevisedBy 2014, the industrial area was entirely removed and supplanted by green spaces and additional trees.
The revision uses synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
RevisedThe residential buildings were situated adjacent to the lake.
The use of 'situated adjacent to' provides more precise location description.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons.
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