Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #13, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
253 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1253 words
The maps show the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe maps illustrate the transformation of the waterfront area in Darwin over a five-year period.
Improved precision and eliminated redundancy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the town became much more citizen-friendly with the construction of numerous facilities, including additional residential buildings, a university, and a harbour.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFurthermore, it is evident that the majority of changes occurred on the southern side of the town.
Improved transition and clarity.
The swimming pool was located on the right side of these areas. As an addition, in the northern east corner of the town, there was a fishing area opposite to the bigger swimming pool.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 2009, the city center contained three housing areas.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAn industrial area was located just below them.
Simplified verb form for clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe sea was located in the western corner of the town.
Replaced 'situated' with 'located' for variety.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAt the top, the school and convention center were positioned near the industrial area and a lake surrounded by footpaths.
Simplified sentence for clarity.
When it comes to the center of the town, the number of residential properties were doubled and next to them the new university had been set up.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy 2014, a significant change was the transformation of the large industrial zone into a shaded area with trees and pathways, facilitating access to the newly constructed harbour in the previously empty northeast area.
Enhanced sentence clarity and flow.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake was replaced by a smaller swimming pool.
Simplified verb tense for clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedDespite these changes, the school, convention center, fishing area, lake, and both swimming pools remained unchanged.
Removed unnecessary words for conciseness.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the town became much more citizen-friendly with the construction of numerous facilities, including additional residential buildings, a university, and a harbour.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedFurthermore, it is evident that the majority of changes occurred on the southern side of the town.
Improved transition and clarity.
RevisedBy 2014, a significant change was the transformation of the large industrial zone into a shaded area with trees and pathways, facilitating access to the newly constructed harbour in the previously empty northeast area.
Enhanced sentence clarity and flow.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. Minor errors do not impede understanding.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2009, the city center contained three housing areas.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedAn industrial area was located just below them.
Simplified verb form for clarity.
RevisedAt the top, the school and convention center were positioned near the industrial area and a lake surrounded by footpaths.
Simplified sentence for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precise terms related to urban development. However, there are occasional repetitions.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe maps illustrate the transformation of the waterfront area in Darwin over a five-year period.
Improved precision and eliminated redundancy.
RevisedThe sea was located in the western corner of the town.
Replaced 'situated' with 'located' for variety.
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake was replaced by a smaller swimming pool.
Simplified verb tense for clarity.
RevisedDespite these changes, the school, convention center, fishing area, lake, and both swimming pools remained unchanged.
Removed unnecessary words for conciseness.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed descriptions of changes.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free