Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #12, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
241 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1241 words
The maps show the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe maps depict the changes in the waterfront area of Darwin from 2009 to 2014.
Used 'depict' for variety and clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the town became more public-friendly due to the construction of residential and university buildings, and more environmentally friendly with the expansion of woodlands.
The revision uses a linking word to connect ideas more smoothly.
Lexical resource
RevisedMoreover, a new harbor was constructed.
Used 'moreover' to vary linking words.
To the southeast of the city, there was a sea. There was a lake in the North, near which was a tree-covered area and in between the industrial area was located. Almost at the bottom, the second industrial area was sited, while houses for residents were just above the woodland.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 2009, the town had two swimming pools and a fishing area situated in the top right-hand corner.
Added hyphen for correct compound adjective.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAccess to the school was from the northwest, and a convention center was located nearby.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
There was a new university building to the left of city center.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSince then, the town underwent significant changes, enhancing accessibility and convenience for the public.
Corrected tense for consistency and added 'the' for grammatical accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile the fishing area, swimming pools, and sea remained intact, the harbor was built between the sea and swimming pools, facilitating easier loading of goods or passengers.
Corrected punctuation and improved sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe number of residential buildings doubled in the central area by 2014.
Used 'central area' for precision.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe industrial area at the bottom was replaced by a tree-covered area.
Used 'replaced by' for clarity and conciseness.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe school, lake, and convention center remained unchanged in the second map, while the industrial area was transformed into a new swimming pool.
Improved sentence structure for clarity and coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the town became more public-friendly due to the construction of residential and university buildings, and more environmentally friendly with the expansion of woodlands.
The revision uses a linking word to connect ideas more smoothly.
RevisedSince then, the town underwent significant changes, enhancing accessibility and convenience for the public.
Corrected tense for consistency and added 'the' for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedThe school, lake, and convention center remained unchanged in the second map, while the industrial area was transformed into a new swimming pool.
Improved sentence structure for clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors that do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2009, the town had two swimming pools and a fishing area situated in the top right-hand corner.
Added hyphen for correct compound adjective.
RevisedAccess to the school was from the northwest, and a convention center was located nearby.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedWhile the fishing area, swimming pools, and sea remained intact, the harbor was built between the sea and swimming pools, facilitating easier loading of goods or passengers.
Corrected punctuation and improved sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some precise word choices. However, there is room for more varied expressions.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedThe maps depict the changes in the waterfront area of Darwin from 2009 to 2014.
Used 'depict' for variety and clarity.
RevisedMoreover, a new harbor was constructed.
Used 'moreover' to vary linking words.
RevisedThe number of residential buildings doubled in the central area by 2014.
Used 'central area' for precision.
RevisedThe industrial area at the bottom was replaced by a tree-covered area.
Used 'replaced by' for clarity and conciseness.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, describing the changes in the waterfront area with relevant details.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data from the maps to support descriptions.
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