Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #8, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
187 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1187 words
The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
The diagrams illustrate the changes to the layout of a town called Darwin that took place between 2009 and 2014.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, it is clear from the maps that Darwin underwent significant changes, becoming more environmentally friendly with more trees and fewer industries.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
The industrial area inside this place made way for a small pond in 2014.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLooking more closely at the diagram, the northern part of the map previously had an industrial area surrounded by a footpath.
Clarified the sentence structure and tense.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe extensive industrial area in the southern part of the town was demolished to make way for numerous trees.
Varied vocabulary and improved sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA new university building was constructed in the eastern part of the town by 2014.
Improved verb tense and preposition usage.
To the south-eastern part of the town, a new harbor was built.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn addition to the changes mentioned above, the area near the sea also underwent several major transformations.
Improved transition and sentence clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedAnother significant change was the addition of a new swimming pool in the northwestern part of the town.
Used synonyms to avoid repetition and corrected hyphenation.
Lexical resource
RevisedAll other structures within the town, including the swimming pools, school, and convention center, remained unchanged during the period shown.
Corrected punctuation and improved clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is clear from the maps that Darwin underwent significant changes, becoming more environmentally friendly with more trees and fewer industries.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
RevisedLooking more closely at the diagram, the northern part of the map previously had an industrial area surrounded by a footpath.
Clarified the sentence structure and tense.
RevisedIn addition to the changes mentioned above, the area near the sea also underwent several major transformations.
Improved transition and sentence clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is clear from the maps that Darwin underwent significant changes, becoming more environmentally friendly with more trees and fewer industries.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedA new university building was constructed in the eastern part of the town by 2014.
Improved verb tense and preposition usage.
RevisedIn addition to the changes mentioned above, the area near the sea also underwent several major transformations.
Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, but there are some repetitive phrases and minor errors.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedOverall, it is evident from the maps that Darwin experienced significant changes, becoming more environmentally friendly with an increased number of trees and fewer industries.
Used more precise vocabulary and corrected 'less' to 'fewer' for countable nouns.
RevisedThe extensive industrial area in the southern part of the town was demolished to make way for numerous trees.
Varied vocabulary and improved sentence structure.
RevisedAnother significant change was the addition of a new swimming pool in the northwestern part of the town.
Used synonyms to avoid repetition and corrected hyphenation.
RevisedAll other structures within the town, including the swimming pools, school, and convention center, remained unchanged during the period shown.
Corrected punctuation and improved clarity.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed descriptions of the changes.
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