Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #17, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
248 words. Marked by Axiom on 22 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1248 words
The maps below the show the changes that have taken place at the waterfront are of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014
The maps illustrate how the waterfront area of Darwin town changed over a five-year period, from 2009 to 2014. Overall, the town underwent a dramatic transformation during this period, becoming noticeably less green and more modernized with the construction of new facilities, while some key features remained relatively unchanged.
Adjacent to the town center, there was a lake surrounded by a footpath and there was a residential building in the south of the footpath. Additionally, there were a swimming pool and a sea in the eastern part of the town. Lastly, there was a fishing area in the northeast corner, which could be accessed by a road.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 2009, Darwin was a simpler town, with key features such as an industrial area dominating the center and southwest, and a school located to the west of the industrial area in the middle of the town.
This revision removes the redundant preposition 'to' before 'the west' and simplifies the sentence further for better clarity and conciseness.
By 2014, the town had undergone extensive development. The most noticeable changes was the replacement of the industrial area in the center with a new swimming pool. Another notable change was the removal of the industrial area in the southwest to make way for the construction of a new university building and the planting of trees. Additionally, . Despite these changes, certain key features have remained unchanged. The fishing area stands in the northeast, while the swimming pool located in the eastern part of the town has remained intact.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe number of residential buildings has doubled.
This revision corrects the verb tense to match the time period of the changes being described.
Lexical resource
Reviseda new harbor was built in the east
This revision provides a more precise and commonly used term for the type of structure being described.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is structured in a way that makes the information easy to follow.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe maps illustrate the changes that took place in the waterfront area of Darwin town over a five-year period, from 2009 to 2014.
This revision removes the dollar sign and the extra space, which are errors, and rephrases the sentence slightly for better clarity and formality.
RevisedOne of the most noticeable changes was the replacement of the industrial area in the center with a new swimming pool.
This revision adds an introductory clause to provide context and improve the formality and clarity of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. The errors that do exist do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedIn 2009, Darwin was a simpler town, with key features such as an industrial area dominating the center and southwest, and a school located to the west of the industrial area in the middle of the town.
This revision removes the redundant preposition 'to' before 'the west' and simplifies the sentence further for better clarity and conciseness.
RevisedAdditionally, a swimming pool and sea were located in the eastern part of the town.
This revision rephrases the sentence to passive voice, which is more formal and appropriate for this type of description in an IELTS report.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is used appropriately with only minor errors.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe number of residential buildings has doubled.
This revision corrects the verb tense to match the time period of the changes being described.
Reviseda new harbor was built in the east
This revision provides a more precise and commonly used term for the type of structure being described.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. The essay also presents a clear comparison of the data and describes the key features and changes effectively.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data and information are accurately represented and clearly described. While the essay is generally effective, there are minor details where better precision could be achieved. For instance, phrases like "the number of residential buildings had doubled" could be misinterpreted without the exact figures. Clarifying that the number increased from X to Y would provide a more accurate picture.
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