Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #3, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
200 words. Marked by Axiom on 14 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1200 words
The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
The map shows the changes in the part of the town called Darwin, which was a waterfront area, between 2009 and 2014. However, some areas (a convention center, a lake, a fishing area, a school, and a footpath around the lake) remained intact.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, significant updates have occurred in the area, such as the construction of a new university, improvements to residential buildings, the addition of a harbor, and a third swimming pool near the school.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2009, the area featured two industrial zones: a large one with three buildings in the south and another located between the school and the lake.
Clarified the description of industrial areas.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAdditionally, there were two swimming pools separated by a footpath: a large one near the fishing area and a smaller one near the residential buildings.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
In 2014, the new university building was introduced at the west near the road. The big industrial area was knocked down to plant numerous trees, and new residential constructions were added.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake was replaced by a new swimming pool.
Clarified the subject for better understanding.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe new harbor was constructed in the southeastern part of the area.
Clarified the construction of the harbor with more precise language.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe final addition was a new footpath, designed to provide easy access to the harbor from the western road.
Added detail to clarify the purpose of the footpath.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIt was established to traverse wooded areas, allowing easy access to the harbor from the western road.
Enhanced sentence structure for clarity and flow.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be more cohesive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt transitions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, significant updates have occurred in the area, such as the construction of a new university, improvements to residential buildings, the addition of a harbor, and a third swimming pool near the school.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedIn 2009, the area featured two industrial zones: a large one with three buildings in the south and another located between the school and the lake.
Clarified the description of industrial areas.
RevisedThe final addition was a new footpath, designed to provide easy access to the harbor from the western road.
Added detail to clarify the purpose of the footpath.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAdditionally, there were two swimming pools separated by a footpath: a large one near the fishing area and a smaller one near the residential buildings.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake was replaced by a new swimming pool.
Clarified the subject for better understanding.
RevisedIt was established to traverse wooded areas, allowing easy access to the harbor from the western road.
Enhanced sentence structure for clarity and flow.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, though there is room for more sophisticated language.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the area has undergone significant transformations.
Replaced 'great updates' with 'significant transformations' for more advanced vocabulary.
RevisedThe large industrial area was demolished to make way for extensive tree planting.
Used more precise language to describe the change.
RevisedThe new harbor was constructed in the southeastern part of the area.
Clarified the construction of the harbor with more precise language.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and specific details from the map.
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