Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

151 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The map this answer describes

Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: what the maps show

2009

Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.

2014

Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
There are more residential-building symbols and trees.

Academic Task 1151 words

The maps show the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The maps below depict number of changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of Darwin town from 2009 to 2014. Overall, there had been considerable changes, such as the introduction of Harbour and swimming pool, with school next to the pool.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, there were considerable changes, including the introduction of a harbour and a swimming pool, with a school next to the pool.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Focusing on the main changes, the number of residential buildings doubled from three to six while there had been the introduction of several trees at the expense of industrial area. Additionally, there were number of footpaths which was partly occupied by industrial zone before. Western part of the industrial are had destroyed and its place was university building.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedFocusing on the main changes, the number of residential buildings doubled from three to six, and several trees were introduced, replacing parts of the industrial area.
Improved sentence structure and vocabulary.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe western part of the industrial area was replaced by a university building.
Improved clarity and grammatical accuracy.

When it comes to the untouched areas, swimming pools in the eastern side of the map remained intact. Moreover, there was a harbour where it had been water in its place before, whereas lake in the northern side of the map and the several trees next to it stayed unchanged.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedRegarding the untouched areas, the swimming pools on the eastern side of the map remained unchanged.
Improved lexical choice and sentence structure.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are some issues with cohesion and coherence, particularly in the use of linking words and sentence structure.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve flow.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, there were considerable changes, including the introduction of a harbour and a swimming pool, with a school next to the pool.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedAdditionally, a number of footpaths replaced areas previously occupied by the industrial zone.
Clarified the sentence and improved grammatical accuracy.
RevisedThe western part of the industrial area was replaced by a university building.
Improved clarity and grammatical accuracy.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and precision.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedSeveral trees were introduced at the expense of the industrial area.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedThe western part of the industrial area was replaced by a university building.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.
RevisedAdditionally, a number of footpaths replaced areas previously occupied by the industrial zone.
Improved grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions.

Sentence revisions 4

RevisedSeveral trees were introduced at the expense of the industrial area.
Improved vocabulary choice and sentence structure.
RevisedRegarding the untouched areas, the swimming pools on the eastern side of the map remained unchanged.
Improved lexical choice and sentence structure.
RevisedMoreover, a harbour was constructed where there was previously open water.
Improved clarity and lexical choice.
RevisedFocusing on the main changes, the number of residential buildings doubled from three to six, and several trees were introduced, replacing parts of the industrial area.
Improved sentence structure and vocabulary.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks some details and clarity in describing the changes.

Suggestions

Provide more specific details about the changes.
Ensure all major changes are clearly described.
Avoid vague language when describing the maps.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free