Darwin waterfront, 2009 and 2014: IELTS Task 1 answer #10, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
160 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The map this answer describes
2009
- Two areas are explicitly labelled industrial area.
- Residential buildings are grouped below the lake.
2014
- Neither industrial-area label nor its hatch marks remain.
- A university building, harbour and an additional swimming pool are shown.
- There are more residential-building symbols and trees.
Academic Task 1160 words
The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014
The maps below illustrate the changes to the waterfront are of Darwin city between 2009 and 2014.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the maps show that Darwin underwent significant development, becoming much more expanded and beautiful during the given period.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and provides a clearer summary of the information presented in the maps.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedUpon closer inspection of the maps, it can be seen that a new swimming pool was constructed in the northern part of the waterfront area.
The revised sentence provides more specific information and uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake, which was surrounded by a footpath, was replaced with a small swimming pool.
The revised sentence provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place, and uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn addition to the changes mentioned above, it is noticeable that a university building was established near the residential area, which has seen a doubling in the number of buildings from 3 to 6.
The revised sentence corrects the typo ('thew' to 'the') and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe space that was once an industrial area was transformed by planting multiple trees and creating a new footpath that leads to the harbour.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis harbour was also built to the east of the area.
The verb 'built' requires a preposition (to) in this context. The revised sentence corrects this error.
All the other structures within the Drawin city area remained unchanged during the period shown.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe maps below illustrate the changes that took place in the waterfront area of Darwin city between 2009 and 2014.
The original sentence was a bit confusing. It's clearer to specify what the maps are illustrating.
RevisedOverall, the maps show that Darwin underwent significant development, becoming much more expanded and beautiful during the given period.
The revised sentence is more grammatically correct and provides a clearer summary of the information presented in the maps.
RevisedUpon closer inspection of the maps, it can be seen that a new swimming pool was constructed in the northern part of the waterfront area.
The revised sentence provides more specific information and uses more precise language.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe maps below illustrate the changes that took place in the waterfront area of Darwin city between 2009 and 2014.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect. The revised sentence provides a grammatically accurate introduction to the topic.
RevisedOverall, it is clear from the maps that Darwin underwent some major changes, becoming much more developed, bigger, and beautiful over the given period.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect. The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural sounding summary of the changes that took place.
RevisedThis harbour was also built to the east of the area.
The verb 'built' requires a preposition (to) in this context. The revised sentence corrects this error.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe industrial area near the lake, which was surrounded by a footpath, was replaced with a small swimming pool.
The revised sentence provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place, and uses more precise language.
RevisedIn addition to the changes mentioned above, it is noticeable that a university building was established near the residential area, which has seen a doubling in the number of buildings from 3 to 6.
The revised sentence corrects the typo ('thew' to 'the') and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place.
RevisedThe space that was once an industrial area was transformed by planting multiple trees and creating a new footpath that leads to the harbour.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that took place.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the maps and describes the key features of the changes that took place. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed descriptions and by making more explicit comparisons.
Suggestions
- Try to be more specific when describing the changes shown in the maps. Provide exact measurements or details where possible.
- Make more explicit comparisons between the different time periods. This will help to provide a more detailed and comprehensive analysis of the changes that took place.
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