axiom

Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #13, band 6.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

213 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199019952000200520102012
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199020002010
Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
JapanUSChinaIndia
1990261121
199520831
2000181151
2005188115
2010175257
2012177285

Academic Task 1213 words

The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian export to four different countries between 1990 and 2012.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, both China and India experienced an upward trend over the 22-year period.

    Removed unnecessary words for clarity.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn comparison, the remaining countries, such as Japan and the US, experienced a downward trend.

    Corrected punctuation and article usage.

  3. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedIndia recorded a significant increase, but China had the highest export percentage by 2012.

    Clarified the information as China had the highest percentage.

Looking at the details, China saw with starting about 2% export in 1990 without any fluctuations in the final year. Also it recorded the highest point in the graph compared to other nations. In addition, India started at zero percentage export in the first year and then remained stable until 2000 and after rose around to 8% before decreasing to about 5% in the final year.

  1. Lexical resource

    Revisedsignificant growth

    Varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    Revisedand then it increased significantly to around 28%

    Corrected word order for grammatical accuracy.

In the beginning of the period, , and after it slightly reduced approximately to 8% before increasing to 10% in 2000. In the following years, it declined dramatically and in the final year, which around 5%. Japan is also recorded the highest point only in 1990 with around 26% ,and then it witnessed only a downward trend by 2012 with 18%.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedMoving on, the US experienced some fluctuations over the 22-year period.

    Simplified the sentence for better coherence.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    Revisedthe US accounted for 10% of exports

    Corrected the preposition and phrase for accuracy.

  3. Lexical resource

    Revisedremained stable

    Used a more concise expression.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but some transitions between ideas are unclear.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
  • Avoid repetition of information.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, both China and India experienced an upward trend over the 22-year period.

    Removed unnecessary words for clarity.

  • RevisedIndia recorded a significant increase, but China had the highest export percentage by 2012.

    Clarified the information as China had the highest percentage.

  • RevisedMoving on, the US experienced some fluctuations over the 22-year period.

    Simplified the sentence for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of grammatical structures but contains some errors.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn comparison, the remaining countries, such as Japan and the US, experienced a downward trend.

    Corrected punctuation and article usage.

  • Revisedthe US accounted for 10% of exports

    Corrected the preposition and phrase for accuracy.

  • Revisedand then it increased significantly to around 28%

    Corrected word order for grammatical accuracy.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some phrases are repetitive.

Sentence revisions 3

  • Revisedexperienced a decrease

    Used a different expression to avoid repetition.

  • Revisedsignificant growth

    Varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource.

  • Revisedremained stable

    Used a more concise expression.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but includes inaccuracies and lacks some detail.

Suggestions

  • Ensure all data is accurately reported.
  • Include more specific figures and comparisons.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free