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Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #14, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

163 words. Marked by Axiom on 14 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199019952000200520102012
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199020002010
Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
JapanUSChinaIndia
1990261121
199520831
2000181151
2005188115
2010175257
2012177285

Academic Task 1163 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates changes in Australian exports to four different countries between 1990 and 2012.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, while Japan was the main importer of Australian goods for a long period, China’s exports grew significantly, eventually becoming the largest.

    Clarified the sentence structure for better flow.

This figure experienced steady decline over the 15-year’ period, which accounted for only about 17% in 2012.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn 1990, Japan accounted for 25% of Australia’s exports, making it the dominant importer.

    Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedChina’s imports began with the lowest percentage and steadily increased to become the highest by the end of the period.

    Improved clarity and cohesion in the description of China's trend.

  3. Lexical resource

    RevisedBy the end of the period, China had overtaken Japan with just over 27%, becoming the highest percentage on the chart.

    Improved precision in describing the data.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedUntil 2000, US imports, with some fluctuations, remained close to 10%, then dropped to 5% before showing a slight increase to about 6%.

    Clarified the sequence of events for better grammatical coherence.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIndia started with merely 3% of exports and showed a small rise to 7%.

    Simplified structure for better grammatical accuracy.

  3. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedHowever, this peak was not maintained; India’s exports declined to 5% by 2012, the lowest among the four countries.

    Enhanced sentence structure for better coherence.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized and ideas are logically sequenced. However, there could be more explicit connections between ideas to enhance cohesion.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Clarify comparisons between countries.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, while Japan was the main importer of Australian goods for a long period, China’s exports grew significantly, eventually becoming the largest.

    Clarified the sentence structure for better flow.

  • RevisedChina’s imports began with the lowest percentage and steadily increased to become the highest by the end of the period.

    Improved clarity and cohesion in the description of China's trend.

  • RevisedHowever, this peak was not maintained; India’s exports declined to 5% by 2012, the lowest among the four countries.

    Enhanced sentence structure for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn 1990, Japan accounted for 25% of Australia’s exports, making it the dominant importer.

    Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.

  • RevisedIndia started with merely 3% of exports and showed a small rise to 7%.

    Simplified structure for better grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedUntil 2000, US imports, with some fluctuations, remained close to 10%, then dropped to 5% before showing a slight increase to about 6%.

    Clarified the sequence of events for better grammatical coherence.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main ideas, though some phrases could be more precise.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedJapan was the leading importer, receiving 25% of Australia’s exports.

    Used more precise vocabulary to describe Japan's role.

  • RevisedThis figure experienced a steady decline over the 15-year period.

    Corrected a typographical error for clarity.

  • RevisedBy the end of the period, China had overtaken Japan with just over 27%, becoming the highest percentage on the chart.

    Improved precision in describing the data.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons. However, some details could be more explicitly stated.

Suggestions

  • Include more specific data points for clarity.
  • Ensure all trends are clearly described.

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