Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #38, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
241 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1241 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian exports to four countries, namely Japan, the US, China, and India between 1990 and 2012. Notably, after 2000, the proportion of export to China surged, far exceeding all the remaining countries.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn general, while the figures for Japan and the US followed a somewhat similar downward trend, those for India and especially China increased over the years.
Improved parallel structure and clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFirstly, focusing on the decreases, the percentage of exported products to Japan stood at around 27% in 1990.
Added a clearer transition word for better flow.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis figure, however, declined markedly to 20% in 1995, after which a period of stability was observed, ending with a slight drop to 17% in 2012.
Improved verb choice for consistency.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedA similar scenario can be seen regarding the US, although the percentage of exports to this country exhibited more noticeable fluctuations over the period:
Corrected spelling error in 'noticeable'.
Lexical resource
Revisedthe proportion of shipped products to this country hovered around 10% between 1990 and 2000, followed by a gradual decline to around 7% in 2012.
Corrected grammatical structure for clarity.
As for the increases, After growing gradually until 2000, the propotion of exported products to China jumped dramatically, reaching the all-time high of 30% by the end of period.
Lexical resource
Revisedthe Australian export volume to China and India demonstrated a similar start in 1990, with their respective figures of around 3% and 2%.
Corrected spelling error in 'demonstrated'.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe figure for India, on the other hand, continued its upward trajectory steadily, peaking at approximately 7% in 2010 and ending with a marginal slip to 6% in 2012.
Improved verb choice for consistency.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn general, while the figures for Japan and the US followed a somewhat similar downward trend, those for India and especially China increased over the years.
Improved parallel structure and clarity.
RevisedFirstly, focusing on the decreases, the percentage of exported products to Japan stood at around 27% in 1990.
Added a clearer transition word for better flow.
RevisedRegarding the increases, the Australian export volume to China and India began similarly in 1990, with figures of approximately 3% and 2%, respectively.
Improved clarity and flow with better word choice.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis figure, however, declined markedly to 20% in 1995, after which a period of stability was observed, ending with a slight drop to 17% in 2012.
Improved verb choice for consistency.
RevisedThe figure for India, on the other hand, continued its upward trajectory steadily, peaking at approximately 7% in 2010 and ending with a marginal slip to 6% in 2012.
Improved verb choice for consistency.
RevisedA similar scenario can be seen regarding the US, although the percentage of exports to this country exhibited more noticeable fluctuations over the period:
Corrected spelling error in 'noticeable'.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some advanced terms. There are minor spelling errors that need correction.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe proportion of shipped products to this country hovered around 10% between 1990 and 2000, followed by a gradual decline to around 7% in 2012.
Corrected grammatical structure for clarity.
Revisedthe Australian export volume to China and India demonstrated a similar start in 1990, with their respective figures of around 3% and 2%.
Corrected spelling error in 'demonstrated'.
RevisedAfter growing gradually until 2000, the proportion of exported products to China jumped dramatically, reaching an all-time high of 30% by the end of the period.
Corrected spelling error in 'proportion' and improved article usage.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively covers the main trends and data points from the graph, with a clear overview and detailed analysis.
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