Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #36, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
225 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1225 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.
The graph compares the proportion of goods exported from Australia to four countries between 1990 and 2012.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, China emerged as the leading importer of Australian goods, surpassing India, while Japan and the US experienced a significant decline in their shares.
The revision makes the sentence more concise and clear.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite its growth, India continued to import the least amount of Australian goods.
The revision simplifies the sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn 1990, Australian exports to China and India were minimal, at approximately 2% and 1%, respectively.
The revision uses more precise language.
Lexical resource
RevisedSubsequently, China's share rose noticeably to 10% by 2005, then surged to a peak of 28% by 2012.
The revision avoids repetition and uses more precise vocabulary.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, India's trend remained stable for the first decade before growing significantly to about 7% in 2010, followed by a 1% dip in 2012.
The revision clarifies the subject and improves sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy 2012, the gap in Australian market share between these two nations had widened significantly.
The revision provides a clearer time reference and improves sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedConversely, exports to Japan and the US exhibited a downward trend.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and avoids repetition.
Lexical resource
RevisedWhile both countries followed a similar pattern, Japan imported significantly more than the US, with 26% compared to just over 10% in 2012.
The revision improves clarity and precision.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOver the next two decades, Japan's figures decreased steadily by 8%, and the US by 5%, with some fluctuations.
The revision improves sentence clarity and structure.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be more concise and transitions between ideas can be improved.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Avoid repetition of similar phrases.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, China emerged as the leading importer of Australian goods, surpassing India, while Japan and the US experienced a significant decline in their shares.
The revision makes the sentence more concise and clear.
RevisedDespite its growth, India continued to import the least amount of Australian goods.
The revision simplifies the sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedBy 2012, the gap in Australian market share between these two nations had widened significantly.
The revision provides a clearer time reference and improves sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedHowever, India's trend remained stable for the first decade before growing significantly to about 7% in 2010, followed by a 1% dip in 2012.
The revision clarifies the subject and improves sentence structure.
RevisedOver the next two decades, Japan's figures decreased steadily by 8%, and the US by 5%, with some fluctuations.
The revision improves sentence clarity and structure.
RevisedDespite significant growth, India remained the smallest importer.
The revision simplifies the sentence for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but there is room for more variety and precision in word choice.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedIn 1990, Australian exports to China and India were minimal, at approximately 2% and 1%, respectively.
The revision uses more precise language.
RevisedSubsequently, China's share rose noticeably to 10% by 2005, then surged to a peak of 28% by 2012.
The revision avoids repetition and uses more precise vocabulary.
RevisedConversely, exports to Japan and the US exhibited a downward trend.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and avoids repetition.
RevisedWhile both countries followed a similar pattern, Japan imported significantly more than the US, with 26% compared to just over 10% in 2012.
The revision improves clarity and precision.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons.
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