Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #43, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
264 words. Marked by Axiom on 15 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1264 words
The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph depicts the percentage of Australian exports to four different countries from 1990 to 2012.
Replaced 'illustrates' with 'depicts' for variety and corrected number format.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, while the percentage of Australian exports to Japan and the US experienced a gradual decline, exports to China and India increased to varying extents.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNotably, China became the top destination for Australian exports, surpassing all other countries throughout the timespan.
Reordered sentence for better coherence.
Focusing on the upward trends, the percentage of Australian exports to China was around 2% in 1990, and then, this figure saw a steady growth to more or less 4% in 2000, before witnessing a dramatic and continuous rise to approximately 25% in 2010. The figure was around 1% in 1990, remained stable for about decade, and then it witnessed a dramatic growth to 7% in 2010, before declining to 4% by the end of the period.
Lexical resource
RevisedBy 2012, it had reached a moderate increase to an all-time high of 28%.
Replaced 'seen' with 'reached' for more precise language.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, the proportion of Australian exports to India remained relatively low over the period.
Used 'In contrast' for clearer comparison.
Turning to the downward trends, the proportion of Australian exports to Japan was highest in 1990 at approximately 27%, but the figure gradually decreased over time. Meanwhile, in 1990, the US accounted for approximately 11% of Australia’s total exports. By 1995, this figure sharply declined to 6%, before recovering modestly to 11% in 2000.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBy 2000, this figure had declined sharply to 17%, and then continued to decrease to 13% in the final year.
Revised for parallel structure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis was followed by a consistent decline to 5% in 2010, before it rose again to 7% in 2012.
Revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
- Clarify comparisons between countries.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, while the percentage of Australian exports to Japan and the US experienced a gradual decline, exports to China and India increased to varying extents.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedNotably, China became the top destination for Australian exports, surpassing all other countries throughout the timespan.
Reordered sentence for better coherence.
RevisedIn contrast, the proportion of Australian exports to India remained relatively low over the period.
Used 'In contrast' for clearer comparison.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors. Sentences are mostly accurate and varied.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe figure was around 1% in 1990, remained stable for about a decade, and then witnessed a dramatic growth to 7% in 2010.
Added 'a' before 'decade' for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedBy 2000, this figure had declined sharply to 17%, and then continued to decrease to 13% in the final year.
Revised for parallel structure.
RevisedThis was followed by a consistent decline to 5% in 2010, before it rose again to 7% in 2012.
Revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precise terms. However, there is room for more varied and sophisticated language.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph depicts the percentage of Australian exports to four different countries from 1990 to 2012.
Replaced 'illustrates' with 'depicts' for variety and corrected number format.
RevisedOverall, the percentage of Australian exports to Japan and the US showed a gradual decline over the given period.
Used 'showed' for more precise language.
RevisedBy 2012, it had reached a moderate increase to an all-time high of 28%.
Replaced 'seen' with 'reached' for more precise language.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons. It accurately describes the data trends.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for India and the US.
- Ensure all data trends are clearly explained.
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