Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #35, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
231 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1231 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph compares the proportions of Australian export to Japan, US, China, and India between 1990 and 2012.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, Australian exports to China showed an upward trend, whereas exports to Japan declined.
Revised for clarity and smoother transition.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite the initial large gap between the US and India, their export shares converged by the end of the period.
Improved coherence by using a more precise conjunction.
In 1990, among the four, while China had one of the lowest shares, at about 3%. As for the latter, it saw the most dramatic growth, doubling by 2000 and , overtaking all other countries and accounting for the largest share of Australian export.
Lexical resource
Revisedaccounting for about 26%, Japan imported the most from Australia
Used a more precise term to describe the percentage.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe former dropped to around 17% over the first decade and then remained relatively stable until the end of the period.
Simplified the sentence structure for better accuracy.
Lexical resource
Reviseddramatically rising to a quarter (25%) by 2012
Corrected spelling error.
After this, Australia’s export to the USA slightly increased to 7%. and remained steady until 2000.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 1990, the USA ranked second with approximately 12%, followed by a sharp decline to around 5%.
Clarified the sentence structure for better coherence.
Lexical resource
RevisedIndia had the lowest percentage, about 2%, in the initial year
Simplified the expression for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfterward, it significantly rose to 7%, followed by a slight decline in 2012.
Used a more precise term to describe the decline.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedEventually, the proportions of Australia’s exports to India and the USA were similar, at about 5% and 7%, respectively.
Used a more concise expression for clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing. There is a logical progression of ideas, but some transitions could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, Australian exports to China showed an upward trend, whereas exports to Japan declined.
Revised for clarity and smoother transition.
RevisedDespite the initial large gap between the US and India, their export shares converged by the end of the period.
Improved coherence by using a more precise conjunction.
RevisedIn 1990, the USA ranked second with approximately 12%, followed by a sharp decline to around 5%.
Clarified the sentence structure for better coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors. Sentences are mostly accurate and varied.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe former dropped to around 17% over the first decade and then remained relatively stable until the end of the period.
Simplified the sentence structure for better accuracy.
RevisedAfterward, it significantly rose to 7%, followed by a slight decline in 2012.
Used a more precise term to describe the decline.
RevisedEventually, the proportions of Australia’s exports to India and the USA were similar, at about 5% and 7%, respectively.
Used a more concise expression for clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precision. However, there are minor spelling errors and room for more varied expressions.
Sentence revisions 4
Reviseddramatically rising to a quarter (25%) by 2012
Corrected spelling error.
Revisedaccounting for about 26%, Japan imported the most from Australia
Used a more precise term to describe the percentage.
Revisedcomprising about 12%, which was followed by a sharp decline
Used a more varied expression to describe the percentage.
RevisedIndia had the lowest percentage, about 2%, in the initial year
Simplified the expression for clarity.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task with a clear overview and detailed comparisons. Some minor inaccuracies are present.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of trends.
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