Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #34, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

197 words. Marked by Axiom on 24 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1197 words

The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.

The line graph shows the percentage of Australian exports to four different countries: Japan, the US, China, and India over the period from 1990 to 2012. In general, it can be seen that exports to China and India increased significantly during this time, whereas exports to Japan and the US experienced a gradual decline.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the percentage of Australian exports to four countries: Japan, the US, China, and India from 1990 to 2012.
Replaced 'shows' with 'illustrates' for variety.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, exports to China and India increased significantly, while exports to Japan and the US gradually declined.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.

Looking at the countries with rising export percentages, China illustrated the most dramatic growth. Starting from just around 2% in 1990, exports to China rose steadily and sharply after 2000, reaching nearly 30% by 2012, making it the largest export destination among the four. Similarly, exports to India also increased, albeit more moderately. Beginning at around 1%, the figure rose gradually and peaked at about 8% in 2010 before slightly dropping back to approximately 6% in 2012.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedChina showed the most dramatic growth in export percentages.
Rephrased for conciseness.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedExports to India also increased, though more moderately.
Replaced 'albeit' with 'though' for simplicity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedStarting at around 1%, the figure rose gradually, peaking at about 8% in 2010 before slightly dropping to approximately 6% in 2012.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

In contrast, the proportion of Australian exports to Japan, which were the peaked in 1990 at about 27%, showed a consistent decline over the years, ending at around 19% by 2012. The United States followed a similar downward trend. Starting at about 10%, exports to the US experienced some fluctuation around the year 2000 but declined overall, reaching the lowest point of around 5% by 2012.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedSimilarly, exports to the United States followed a downward trend.
Added 'exports to' for clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with clear progression of ideas.

Suggestions

Ensure all data points mentioned are accurate.
Use linking words to enhance flow between sentences.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, exports to China and India increased significantly, while exports to Japan and the US gradually declined.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedChina showed the most dramatic growth in export percentages.
Rephrased for conciseness.
RevisedSimilarly, exports to the United States followed a downward trend.
Added 'exports to' for clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedThe line graph illustrates the percentage of Australian exports to four countries: Japan, the US, China, and India from 1990 to 2012.
Replaced 'shows' with 'illustrates' for variety.
RevisedStarting at around 1%, the figure rose gradually, peaking at about 8% in 2010 before slightly dropping to approximately 6% in 2012.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some flexibility.

Sentence revisions 4

RevisedOverall, exports to China and India increased significantly, while those to Japan and the US gradually declined.
Used 'those to' to avoid repetition.
RevisedExports to India also increased, though more moderately.
Replaced 'albeit' with 'though' for simplicity.
RevisedExports to the United States followed a similar downward trend.
Clarified the subject of the trend.
RevisedChina demonstrated the most dramatic growth in export percentages.
Replaced 'illustrated' with 'demonstrated' for precision.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively but with some inaccuracies in data reporting.

Suggestions

Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
Clarify the trends for each country.

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