Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #37, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
201 words. Marked by Axiom on 7 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1201 words
The graph below shows that the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.
The line chart illustrates the percentage of Australian exports sent to Japan, the United States, China, and India between 1990 and 2012. Overall, while exports to China and India increased markedly, shipments to Japan and the United States experienced steady declines. By the end of the period, China had become Australia’s top export destination, followed by Japan, the US, and India.
However, this figure dropped sharply to approximately 20% by 1995, followed by a more gradual decline, reaching just under 17% in 2012. In contrast, China started the period with a modest 3%, but saw a dramatic and sustained rise — especially after 2000 — to become the largest export destination at 28% by the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 1990, Japan received the largest share of Australian exports, accounting for more than 26%.
The use of 'over' with percentages is less formal and precise. It's better to use 'more than' in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedExports to the United States fluctuated around the 10% mark until 2000, after which there was a decline; the figure later stabilized at around 6% by 2012.
The use of the conjunction 'with' is a bit awkward in the original sentence. Using a semicolon and a later pronoun to refer back to the figure would be more clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedMeanwhile, India remained a minor export partner for much of the period, with exports maintaining a level of just 1% until around 2000.
The phrase 'maintaining just 1%' could be misinterpreted. Clarifying that it was the level of exports that was maintained would be more precise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, it then experienced a significant increase, peaking at 7% in 2010, briefly surpassing the US, before falling slightly below it by 2012.
The use of 'temporarily' is too informal in this context. 'Briefly' would be a more appropriate choice.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is structured in a way that makes the information easy to follow.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line chart illustrates the percentage of Australian exports sent to four countries - Japan, the United States, China, and India - between 1990 and 2012.
Removing the dollar sign and using a dash to separate the countries would make the sentence more formal and appropriate for an academic context.
RevisedIn 1990, Japan received the largest share of Australian exports, accounting for more than 26%.
The use of 'over' with percentages is less formal and precise. It's better to use 'more than' in this context.
RevisedHowever, it then experienced a significant increase, peaking at 7% in 2010, briefly surpassing the US, before falling slightly below it by 2012.
The use of 'temporarily' is too informal in this context. 'Briefly' would be a more appropriate choice.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of structures and there are few grammatical errors. Those that do exist are 'slips' and do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedExports to the United States fluctuated around the 10% mark until 2000, after which there was a decline; the figure later stabilized at around 6% by 2012.
The use of the conjunction 'with' is a bit awkward in the original sentence. Using a semicolon and a later pronoun to refer back to the figure would be more clear.
RevisedHowever, it then experienced a significant increase, peaking at 7% in 2010 and temporarily surpassing the US, before falling slightly below it by 2012.
The use of 'and' to link the two parts of the sentence would make it more cohesive.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is used appropriately with only minor errors.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedMeanwhile, India remained a minor export partner for much of the period, with exports maintaining a level of just 1% until around 2000.
The phrase 'maintaining just 1%' could be misinterpreted. Clarifying that it was the level of exports that was maintained would be more precise.
RevisedHowever, it then experienced a significant increase, reaching a peak of 7% in 2010, briefly surpassing the US, before falling slightly below it by 2012.
The verb 'peaking' is a bit informal in this context. 'Reaching a peak' would be more appropriate.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents detail information and supports the main points well.
Suggestions
- Make sure to accurately interpret the data and avoid making assumptions or including information not provided in the graph.
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