Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #39, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
197 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1197 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line graph depicts the percentage of Australian exports to four countries—Japan, the United States, China, and India—over the period from 1990 to 2012.
Used a more precise verb 'depicts' to describe the graph.
Lexical resource
RevisedOverall, while exports to Japan and the US declined or remained relatively stable, those to China and India rose significantly, with China experiencing a particularly dramatic surge.
Replaced 'increased' with 'rose significantly' for more impact.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy the end of the period, China had become the dominant export destination among the four nations, as shown by its peak at 30%.
Clarified the statement with specific data from the graph.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1990, Japan accounted for the largest share of Australian exports, at around 27%.
Added a comma for better sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis figure dropped sharply to 20% by 1995, followed by a period of gradual decline and stability, concluding at approximately 17% in 2012.
Used 'dropped' and 'concluding' for more varied vocabulary.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedExports to the US fluctuated slightly between 9% and 11% during the 1990s but declined steadily after 2000, reaching about 5% in 2012.
Corrected the final percentage based on the graph.
By contrast, China started with a modest 3% share of Australian exports in 1990.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFollowing a slow rise in the 1990s, the percentage increased significantly after 2000, peaking at 30% in 2012—more than any other country in the graph.
Used 'Following' to vary sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSimilarly, exports to India began at around 2% and showed a steady upward trend throughout the period, reaching a high of 7% in 2010 before stabilizing at around 5% in 2012.
Adjusted the final percentage to match the graph.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is well-structured with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points mentioned are accurate according to the graph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedBy the end of the period, China had become the dominant export destination among the four nations, as shown by its peak at 30%.
Clarified the statement with specific data from the graph.
RevisedExports to the US fluctuated slightly between 9% and 11% during the 1990s but declined steadily after 2000, reaching about 5% in 2012.
Corrected the final percentage based on the graph.
RevisedSimilarly, exports to India began at around 2% and showed a steady upward trend throughout the period, reaching a high of 7% in 2010 before stabilizing at around 5% in 2012.
Adjusted the final percentage to match the graph.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1990, Japan accounted for the largest share of Australian exports, at around 27%.
Added a comma for better sentence structure.
RevisedFollowing a slow rise in the 1990s, the percentage increased significantly after 2000, peaking at 30% in 2012—more than any other country in the graph.
Used 'Following' to vary sentence structure.
RevisedSimilarly, exports to India began at around 2% and exhibited a steady upward trend throughout the period, reaching a high of 7% in 2010 before slipping slightly to 5% in 2012.
Corrected the percentage and used 'exhibited' for variety.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary with some precision.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph depicts the percentage of Australian exports to four countries—Japan, the United States, China, and India—over the period from 1990 to 2012.
Used a more precise verb 'depicts' to describe the graph.
RevisedOverall, while exports to Japan and the US declined or remained relatively stable, those to China and India rose significantly, with China experiencing a particularly dramatic surge.
Replaced 'increased' with 'rose significantly' for more impact.
RevisedThis figure dropped sharply to 20% by 1995, followed by a period of gradual decline and stability, concluding at approximately 17% in 2012.
Used 'dropped' and 'concluding' for more varied vocabulary.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay effectively addresses the task with a clear overview and detailed data.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented according to the graph.
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