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Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #15, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

229 words. Marked by Axiom on 25 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199019952000200520102012
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Japan, US, China, India for 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2012, in % of Australian exports. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0102030199020002010
Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
JapanUSChinaIndia
1990261121
199520831
2000181151
2005188115
2010175257
2012177285

Academic Task 1229 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph illustrates the proportion of exportations made to Japan, the US, China, and India by Australia between 1990 and 2012.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, while Australia increased its exports to India and China, the initial major importers, Japan and the USA, experienced a decline.

    Clarifies the comparison by explicitly mentioning Japan and the USA.

In the following years, percentages of exporting to those countries rapidly grew, and the figure for India achieved a peak at 8% in 2010. Meanwhile, the Australian exports percentage rapidly rose to 14% and, by the end of the period, it doubled to 28%, surpassing Japan's figure, which was formerly the highest figure.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedInitially, both India and China were the lowest importers, accounting for about 2% and 5% of exports, respectively.

    Improves sentence flow by removing unnecessary words.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedBoth figures then gradually rose to 5% for China and 3% for India.

    Improves sentence structure for clarity.

However, there was a significant decrease for both Japan, to 18%, and the USA, to 8%, in 1995. In the next 5 years, the percentage of exports to the USA recovered to its initial percentage (13%), before witnessing a sharp decline to almost 5% at the end of the period. Meanwhile, exports to Japan bottomed at 16% in 2005.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedIn contrast, exports to Japan and the USA decreased over the period.

    Enhances clarity by specifying the time frame.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedIn 1990, Japan was the largest importer of Australian goods at 25%, while the USA followed at 13%.

    Uses 'at' for percentages, which is more conventional.

  3. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedFinally, after a slight fall to 16%, Japan's figure increased to 20%.

    Corrects the percentage fall to match the graph data.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions

  • Use more varied linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
  • Clarify comparisons with more precise language.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, while Australia increased its exports to India and China, the initial major importers, Japan and the USA, experienced a decline.

    Clarifies the comparison by explicitly mentioning Japan and the USA.

  • RevisedInitially, both India and China were the lowest importers, accounting for about 2% and 5% of exports, respectively.

    Improves sentence flow by removing unnecessary words.

  • RevisedIn contrast, exports to Japan and the USA decreased over the period.

    Enhances clarity by specifying the time frame.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors that do not impede understanding.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedBoth figures then gradually rose to 5% for China and 3% for India.

    Improves sentence structure for clarity.

  • RevisedIn 1990, Japan was the largest importer of Australian goods at 25%, while the USA followed at 13%.

    Uses 'at' for percentages, which is more conventional.

  • RevisedFinally, after a slight fall to 16%, Japan's figure increased to 20%.

    Corrects the percentage fall to match the graph data.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, some expressions are repetitive or could be more precise.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe line graph illustrates the percentage of exports.

    'Percentage of exports' is more precise than 'proportion of exportations'.

  • RevisedIn the subsequent years, the export percentages to these countries grew rapidly.

    Uses more precise vocabulary and improves sentence structure.

  • RevisedMeanwhile, the percentage of Australian exports to China rapidly rose to 14%.

    Specifies which country is being referred to, enhancing clarity.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear overview and supporting details. However, some data points could be more accurately described.

Suggestions

  • Verify data points with the graph for accuracy.
  • Ensure all main trends are covered in the overview.

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