Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #58, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
221 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1221 words
The graph shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012.
The line graph compares the of Australian exports to four different nations from 1990 to 2012.
Lexical resource
Revisedpercentage
Corrected spelling error.
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of exports to China and India increased, with the former seeing a more dramatic change while
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe percentage of exports to the US and Japan decreased notably over the given period.
Added 'the' before 'US' and 'Japan' and rephrased for grammatical accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLooking at the details, exports to Japan started at the highest level of 25% in 1990 and experienced a considerable downward trend, reaching 16% in 2002.
The revised sentence improves clarity and flow by restructuring the information.
The exports to US started at 11% in 1990 and decreased to 8% in 1995. By 1999, the figure rose notably and peaked at 12%. Then it saw a gradual decline until the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAfter a remarkable increase, with some fluctuations, to 20% in 2007, the percentage dropped sharply to 17% the following year and remained stable until 2012.
Added commas and rephrased for better readability and logical progression.
In 2000, percentage for China saw a notable upward while the figure for India maintained the same level. They both experienced in 2007–2008. After reaching the highest percentage,
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn terms of China and India, the percentages started at 3% and 2%, respectively.
Added 'respectively' for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
Revisedsignificant increase to 14% for China and a peak of 8% for India
Improved word choice for clarity and accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
Revisedthe percentage for India fell to 5%, whereas China's figure rose dramatically to 28% in 2012.
Corrected grammar and improved word choice.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents an overview, followed by details for each country. However, there are some issues with paragraphing, linking words, and the clarity of some sentences. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, and the grouping of information could be improved for better flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
- Group information about countries with similar trends together.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedLooking at the details, exports to Japan started at the highest level of 25% in 1990 and experienced a considerable downward trend, reaching 16% in 2002.
The revised sentence improves clarity and flow by restructuring the information.
RevisedAfter a remarkable increase, with some fluctuations, to 20% in 2007, the percentage dropped sharply to 17% the following year and remained stable until 2012.
Added commas and rephrased for better readability and logical progression.
RevisedIn terms of China and India, the percentages started at 3% and 2%, respectively.
Added 'respectively' for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, awkward phrasings, and missing articles. More accurate grammar and varied sentence structures would improve the score.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedthe percentage of exports to the US and Japan decreased notably over the given period.
Added 'the' before 'US' and 'Japan' and rephrased for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedAfter a remarkable increase, with some fluctuations, to 20% in 2007, the percentage dropped sharply to 17% the following year and remained at that level until 2012.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Revisedthe percentage for India fell to 5%, whereas China's figure rose dramatically to 28% in 2012.
Corrected grammar and improved word choice.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'perecenatge'), awkward word choices, and repetitive use of certain phrases. More varied and precise vocabulary would enhance the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedpercentage
Corrected spelling error.
Revisedexperienced a considerable decrease
'Decrease' is more natural than 'downward' in this context.
Revisedsignificant increase to 14% for China and a peak of 8% for India
Improved word choice for clarity and accuracy.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses all key features of the graph, provides an overview, and includes data for all four countries. However, some details are imprecise, and there are minor inaccuracies in describing trends. More precise data reporting and clearer comparisons would improve the score.
Suggestions
- Be more precise with data points and trends.
- Avoid vague language such as 'notable upward.'
- Make clearer comparisons between countries where relevant.
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