Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #24, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
248 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1248 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph shows changes in proportions regarding the Australian exports to 4 different countries such as Japan, India, China and the US between 1990 and 2012. Overall, while China and India experienced a growth in their import levels, the reverse was true for the US and Japan.
Lexical resource
RevisedInterestingly, although Japan initially had the largest share, China overtook it to become the leading importer by the end of the period.
Improved word choice and sentence structure for clarity.
However, despite recovering, the downward trend started again, this time brining the proportion of import down to a mere 5%.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn 1990, Japan and the US received 25% and 12% of Australia’s exports, respectively.
Improved precision and clarity in expression.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe US, having increased slightly in the following years, started to decline significantly, hitting a low of about 5% in 2012.
The original sentence inaccurately described the trend for the US.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was interrupted as Japan's import levels fluctuated before ending at 19% in 2012.
Corrected word choice and grammatical structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedChina, on the other hand, saw a steady increase, surpassing Japan in 2009 and reaching a peak of 28% in 2012.
The original sentence inaccurately described China's trend.
While the former increased significantly, surging to a chart high of 28% in 2012 before overtaking Japan’s import levels in 2009, the latter increased steadily until 2010 before slightly going down to a chart low of 5% in 2012.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedChina and India, however, experienced significant growth in Australian exports.
Improved clarity and removed redundancy.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are some inaccuracies in the description of trends and comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate description of trends and data.
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Avoid contradictions in data interpretation.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe US, having increased slightly in the following years, started to decline significantly, hitting a low of about 5% in 2012.
The original sentence inaccurately described the trend for the US.
RevisedChina, on the other hand, saw a steady increase, surpassing Japan in 2009 and reaching a peak of 28% in 2012.
The original sentence inaccurately described China's trend.
RevisedChina and India, however, experienced significant growth in Australian exports.
Improved clarity and removed redundancy.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay shows a range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe US, having increased slightly in the following years, started to decline significantly, hitting a low of about 5% in 2012.
Corrected inaccurate data and grammatical errors.
RevisedChina, however, saw a steady increase, surpassing Japan in 2009 and reaching a peak of 28% in 2012.
Corrected inaccurate data and grammatical errors.
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was interrupted as Japan's import levels fluctuated before ending at 19% in 2012.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some precision, but there are instances of incorrect word choice and repetition.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedInterestingly, although Japan initially had the largest share, China overtook it to become the leading importer by the end of the period.
Improved word choice and sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was interrupted as Japan's import levels fluctuated before ending at 19% in 2012.
Corrected word choice and grammatical structure.
RevisedChina and India, however, experienced significant growth in Australian exports.
Improved vocabulary and removed redundancy.
RevisedIn 1990, Japan and the US received 25% and 12% of Australia’s exports, respectively.
Improved precision and clarity in expression.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but includes inaccuracies in data interpretation and lacks some clarity in comparisons.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate interpretation of data.
- Provide clear comparisons between countries.
- Summarize main trends effectively.
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