Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #23, band 5.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

249 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1249 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows changes in proportions regarding the Australian exports to 4 different countries such as Japan, India, China and the US between 1990 and 2012. Overall, while China and India experienced a growth in their import levels, the reverse was true for the US and Japan. One more interesting point is that, although Japan initially had the largest share of imports, China overtook and became the leading importer from Australia towards the end of the period.

Starting from 1990, Japan and the US received 25 and 12% of Australia’s exports respectively. The US, having increased in the following year (1992) to about 27%, it started to decline significantly hitting a personal trough of about 12% in 2005. This downward trend, however, was broken with Japan’s import levels fluctuated and ended the period with just below 20% in 2012. China, had a more or less similar pattern to that of Japan’s, with its figure declining substantially for the next 7 years before recovering to its initial level in 1990 at 12%. However, despite recovering, the downward trend started again, this time brining the proportion of import to a mere 5%.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe US, having increased in the following year (1992) to about 27%), started to decline significantly, hitting a personal trough of about 12% in 2005.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between the ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was broken when Japan's import levels fluctuated and ended the period at just below 20% in 2012.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedChina, which had a more or less similar pattern to that of Japan’s, saw its figure decline substantially for the next 7 years, before recovering to its initial level in 1990 at 12%.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.

The remaining countries, China and India, on the other hand, saw considerable rises in terms of exports from Australia. While the former increased significantly, surging to a chart high of 28% in 2012 before overtaking Japan’s import levels in 2009, the latter increased steadily until 2010 before slightly going down to a chart low of 5% in 2012.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe remaining countries, China and India, on the other hand, saw considerable increases in terms of exports from Australia.
The revised sentence uses a more appropriate word to describe the increase in exports.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedWhile the former increased significantly, reaching a chart high of 28% in 2012 before overtaking Japan’s import levels in 2009, the latter increased steadily until 2010 before slightly falling to a chart low of 5% in 2012.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate description of the changes in the data.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the information is clearly and coherently presented. The introduction provides an overview of the data and the body paragraphs clearly describe the trends and make comparisons where relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all the information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe US, having increased in the following year (1992) to about 27%), started to decline significantly, hitting a personal trough of about 12% in 2005.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between the ideas.
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was broken when Japan's import levels fluctuated and ended the period at just below 20% in 2012.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
RevisedChina, which had a more or less similar pattern to that of Japan’s, saw its figure decline substantially for the next 7 years, before recovering to its initial level in 1990 at 12%.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be improved for better clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe US, having increased in the following year (1992) to about 27%), started to decline significantly, hitting a personal trough of about 12% in 2005.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise structure.
RevisedThis downward trend, however, was broken when Japan's import levels fluctuated and ended the period at just below 20% in 2012.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise structure.
RevisedChina, which had a more or less similar pattern to that of Japan’s, saw its figure decline substantially for the next 7 years, before recovering to its initial level in 1990 at 12%.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise structure.

Lexical resource

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedThe remaining countries, China and India, on the other hand, saw considerable increases in terms of exports from Australia.
The revised sentence uses a more appropriate word to describe the increase in exports.
RevisedWhile the former increased significantly, reaching a chart high of 28% in 2012 before overtaking Japan’s import levels in 2009, the latter increased steadily until 2010 before slightly falling to a chart low of 5% in 2012.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate description of the changes in the data.

Task achievement

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends and makes relevant and accurate comparisons. The information is well-organized and the essay meets the task requirements. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples to support the trends and comparisons.

Suggestions

Try to include more specific details and examples to support the trends and comparisons. This will make your writing more precise and help to fully illustrate the data.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free