Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #22, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
182 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1182 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph illustrates Australian exports in four countries: Japan, US, China and India, from 1990 to 2012, measured in percentages.
Overall, Japan and the US saw a decrease in their share of Australian exports, while China and India experienced growth. By the end of the period, China accounted the highest proportion of exports, while
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIndia had the smallest share.
Adding 'share' clarifies the sentence.
According to the graph, from 1990 to 1995, both Japan and the US saw gradual declines in their export percentages, with Japan decreasing from 27% to 20%, and the US dropping from 12% to 8%. However, after 1995, both countries experienced different trends. Japan continued to decline steadily, reaching about 17% by 2012, while the US showed fluctuations between 1995 and 2005, before slight increasing to just over 5% by 2012.
Conversely, From 2000 to 2010, exports to China increased sharply, reaching 27% in 2010, and continued to grow in 2012.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedChina experienced a dramatic rise in Australian exports.
'Experienced' is a more precise verb choice in this context.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedExports to India showed a more gradual increase from 1990 to 2010, reaching just over 5% in 2010, before experiencing a slight decline to around 4% in 2012.
Specifying the decline in 2012 enhances clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some details could be more precise to enhance clarity.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific data points for China and India in 2012.
- Clarify the trends for the US between 1995 and 2005.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedExports to China increased sharply, reaching 27% in 2010, and continued to grow, reaching approximately 30% in 2012.
Adding the specific percentage for 2012 provides a clearer picture.
RevisedThe US showed fluctuations between 1995 and 2005, with percentages ranging from 7% to 9%, before slightly increasing to just over 5% by 2012.
Clarifying the range of fluctuations provides better insight into the trend.
RevisedExports to India showed a more gradual increase from 1990 to 2010, reaching just over 5% in 2010, before experiencing a slight decline to around 4% in 2012.
Specifying the decline in 2012 enhances clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedJapan continued to decline steadily, reaching approximately 17% by 2012.
'Approximately' is a more formal term suitable for academic writing.
RevisedChina experienced a dramatic rise in Australian exports.
'Experienced' is a more precise verb choice in this context.
RevisedIndia had the smallest share.
Adding 'share' clarifies the sentence.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, though there are minor inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedChina accounted for the highest proportion of exports.
The correct preposition 'for' should be used.
RevisedExports to India showed a more gradual increase.
The article 'a' is needed before 'more gradual increase'.
RevisedBefore slightly increasing to just over 5% by 2012.
The adverb 'slightly' should be used instead of 'slight.'
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing a clear overview and supporting details.
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