Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #21, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

161 words. Marked by Axiom on 30 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1161 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.

The line graph illustrates how Australian exports to Japan, China, India, and the US changed between 1990 and 2012. Overall, Australia's exports to China and India increased over the years despite the previous low points, while figures for the US and Japan experienced similar decreases. Additionally, China became Australia's best client at the end of the period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, Australia's exports to China and India increased over the years despite initially low points, whereas exports to the US and Japan experienced similar decreases.
Clarified the contrast using 'whereas' to improve coherence.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedChina emerged as Australia's largest trading partner by the end of the period.
Used more precise vocabulary to describe the relationship.

In terms of increased trends, China and India showed similar increased trends. Both figures were almost zero percent at the beginning of the period, and the former grew to 15% in 2009. Meanwhile, India’s imports peaked at around 8% before dropping to 5% in 2012. China’s imports from Australia surged to nearly 30% by 2012.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedChina and India exhibited similar upward trends.
Simplified the sentence to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedMeanwhile, India’s imports peaked at approximately 8% before declining to 5% in 2012.
Used 'approximately' for more precise language.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedChina’s imports from Australia surged to almost 30% by 2012.
Used 'almost' for slight variation in expression.

Regarding trends with drops, in 1990, Japan was the main exporter of Australia with a staggering 25%, while the US imported 12% of Australia’s products. Over the years both figures witnessed drops with the former dipped to 18% in 2012 whereas the latter was 5% in the same year.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedRegarding declining trends, in 1990, Japan was the main importer of Australian goods at 25%, while the US imported 12%.
Clarified the role of Japan and the US as importers, not exporters.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedOver the years, both figures witnessed declines, with Japan's exports dipping to 18% and the US's to 5% in 2012.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized with clear progression. However, some sentences could be more connected to improve flow.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to enhance flow.
Ensure all points are clearly related to the main trend.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, Australia's exports to China and India increased over the years despite initially low points, whereas exports to the US and Japan experienced similar decreases.
Clarified the contrast using 'whereas' to improve coherence.
RevisedChina and India exhibited similar upward trends.
Simplified the sentence to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
RevisedRegarding declining trends, in 1990, Japan was the main importer of Australian goods at 25%, while the US imported 12%.
Clarified the role of Japan and the US as importers, not exporters.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates good grammatical control with a variety of sentence structures.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOver the years, both figures witnessed declines, with Japan's exports dipping to 18% and the US's to 5% in 2012.
Improved sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedChina and India exhibited similar upward trends.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedChina’s imports from Australia surged to almost 30% by 2012.
Used 'almost' for slight variation in expression.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary accurately but could benefit from more variety and precision.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedChina emerged as Australia's largest trading partner by the end of the period.
Used more precise vocabulary to describe the relationship.
RevisedBoth figures were nearly zero percent at the start of the period.
Replaced 'beginning' with 'start' for variety.
RevisedMeanwhile, India’s imports peaked at approximately 8% before declining to 5% in 2012.
Used 'approximately' for more precise language.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear overview and supporting details.

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