Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #19, band 5.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
203 words. Marked by Axiom on 29 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1203 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian exports to four countries. Overall, while the percentage of exports in China and Japan increased over the period, the opposite was true for India and USA. It is also worth noting that China rose gradually and it increased sharply to the peak.
Starting at around 2% in 1990, exports to China steadily increased, reaching a peak of approximately 27% by 2012.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe proportion of Australian exports to China and India exhibited increases over the period.
This revision provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis was a significant increase, establishing China as the largest importer of Australian goods by the end of the period.
The term 'steep increase' is more commonly used to describe a rapid rise in a value, such as a steep increase in prices. In this context, 'significant increase' may be more appropriate to describe the substantial rise in exports to China. The revision also uses a more precise and formal language to describe the situation.
Lexical resource
RevisedExports to India started at around 2% in 1990, rose steadily to about 5% in 2000 and 2005, then gradually increased to 7% by the end of the period, before slightly falling to 5% in 2012.
The original sentence is somewhat awkward and could be phrased more clearly. The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Exports to Japan started at 27% in 1990, after which a steady decline was observed, reaching approximately 15% in 2012.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, the US and Japan experienced either decreases or smaller fluctuations in exports to Australia during the same period.
This revision provides a more precise and clear expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedExports to the USA also experienced a consistent decrease, starting at 11% in 1990 and dropping to about 5% by the end of the period.
The term 'experienced a decrease' is a more formal and precise way to describe the situation.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the information is clearly and coherently presented. The introduction provides an overview of the main trends, and the body paragraphs provide detailed information and analysis. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, with appropriate use of referencing and sequencing.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to further improve the flow of your writing.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe proportion of Australian exports to China and India exhibited increases over the period.
This revision provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
RevisedIn contrast, the US and Japan experienced either decreases or smaller fluctuations in exports to Australia during the same period.
This revision provides a more precise and clear expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and passive constructions. The majority of sentences are error-free, but there are a few minor errors that could be addressed to improve clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedExports to India began at approximately 2% in 1990 and rose steadily to about 5% in the mid-2000s, then gradually increased to 7% by the end of the period, before slightly falling to 5% in 2012.
The use of the passive voice is not necessary in this context, and the term 'mid-2000s' is a more precise and formal way to refer to the period.
RevisedExports to the USA also experienced a consistent decrease, starting at 11% in 1990 and dropping to about 5% by the end of the period.
The term 'experienced a decrease' is a more formal and precise way to describe the situation.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with some good examples of collocation and topic-specific language. There are a few instances of less precise or awkward phrasing that could be improved.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThis was a significant increase, establishing China as the largest importer of Australian goods by the end of the period.
The term 'steep increase' is more commonly used to describe a rapid rise in a value, such as a steep increase in prices. In this context, 'significant increase' may be more appropriate to describe the substantial rise in exports to China. The revision also uses a more precise and formal language to describe the situation.
RevisedExports to India started at around 2% in 1990, rose steadily to about 5% in 2000 and 2005, then gradually increased to 7% by the end of the period, before slightly falling to 5% in 2012.
The original sentence is somewhat awkward and could be phrased more clearly. The revision provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends and makes relevant and accurate comparisons between the different countries. The information is well-organized and the key features are clearly and effectively communicated. The essay meets the requirements of the task and provides a detailed and well-supported analysis of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed and that the information is presented in a fully developed form.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free