Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 5.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

168 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 November 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1168 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian export to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph illustrates Australian export into 4 different countries(Japan, US, China, India) measuring by percentage during 22 years from 1990 to 2012. Overall, China became the number one country in importing from Australia. Meanwhile, US's and Japan's imports becoming worsier during whole period. And the India that had sharped increase.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, China became the leading importer from Australia.
Improved grammatical structure.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedMeanwhile, imports to the US and Japan decreased throughout the entire period.
Clarified the sentence structure and improved coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIndia, on the other hand, saw a sharp increase.
Improved sentence structure and coherence.

In 1990 Australian export to China was about 3 percent, however until 2012 China reached it's peak and first place in importing from Australia, with 28 percent. Meanwhile, India had not faced a big changes. In 1990 India had 1 percent and in the end about 5 percent, during the period it had slightly increasing.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1990, Australian exports to China were about 3 percent; however, by 2012, China had reached its peak at 28 percent, becoming the top importer from Australia.
Corrected punctuation and sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
Revisedsignificant changes
Used a more precise term to enhance lexical resource.

Japan had been already in first place in importing from Australia, with 26 percent and it was it's top. However, partnership between Japan and Australia had been decreased and until the end percentage of export to Japan became 18 percent.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedJapan was initially the top importer from Australia at 26 percent, which was its peak.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.

In addition US's line stay stable in 1990 the percentage was 11 and in the it became 6. US faced slightly decrease.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAdditionally, the US's percentage was stable at 11% in 1990 but decreased to 6% by the end.
Improved sentence coherence and clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression. Some sentences are disconnected, and there is a need for better paragraphing.

Suggestions

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
Ensure logical progression of ideas.
Use linking words to connect sentences smoothly.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedMeanwhile, imports to the US and Japan decreased throughout the entire period.
Clarified the sentence structure and improved coherence.
RevisedIndia, on the other hand, saw a sharp increase.
Improved sentence structure and coherence.
RevisedAdditionally, the US's percentage was stable at 11% in 1990 but decreased to 6% by the end.
Improved sentence coherence and clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, China became the leading importer from Australia.
Improved grammatical structure.
RevisedIn 1990, Australian exports to China were about 3 percent; however, by 2012, China had reached its peak at 28 percent, becoming the top importer from Australia.
Corrected punctuation and sentence structure.
RevisedJapan was initially the top importer from Australia at 26 percent, which was its peak.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition and errors.

Sentence revisions 3

Revisedworse
Corrected the word to its proper form.
Revisedsharp increase
Corrected the adjective form.
Revisedsignificant changes
Used a more precise term to enhance lexical resource.

Task achievement

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and clear comparisons. Some inaccuracies are present.

Suggestions

Include more detailed comparisons between countries.
Ensure accuracy in describing data trends.
Provide a more comprehensive overview of changes over time.

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