Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #18, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

249 words. Marked by Axiom on 29 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1249 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph shows the rate of Australian exports to four countries: Japan, the USA, China, and India between 1990 and 2012. Overall, the percentage of exports for two out of four countries—China and India—witnessed an upward trend, while that for the other two countries experienced a downward change during the given time. Despite that, Japan and the USA were the main exporting countries.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe line graph illustrates the percentage of Australian exports to Japan, the USA, China, and India from 1990 to 2012.
Used 'illustrates' to add variety.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, the percentage of exports to China and India increased, whereas exports to Japan and the USA decreased over the period.
Clarified the relationship and used more varied language.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedDespite the decline, Japan and the USA remained the primary export destinations.
Clarified meaning and improved grammatical accuracy.

There was an increase in the percentage of exports to India and China. In 1990, Australian exports to India made up roughly two percent, which experienced a gradual rise until 2000. After that, it started to rise moderately and reached a peak of eight in 2008, before declining to approximately six percent in 2012. As for the share of China

, it started the period with one percent more than the former and grew to five percent in 2000, and continued further growth until 2005, when it rocketed to almost 30 percent at the end of the period.

In terms of the remaining two other countries, they showed an opposing trend. Regarding the USA, the share of Australian exports was more than ten percent at the beginning of the span. This figure then fluctuated until eight in 2000. After that, this share declined to five in 2012. The export percentage for Japan was the highest rate in 1990, which gradually decreased to approximately eighteen percent in the next thirteen years. This percentage fluctuated until 2010 and decreased to a share of about seventeen in 2012.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedConversely, exports to Japan and the USA showed a downward trend.
Improved transition and clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAt the beginning of the period, exports to the USA exceeded ten percent.
Simplified the sentence structure for clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThis percentage varied until 2010, eventually declining to around seventeen percent in 2012.
Improved lexical variety and clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions

Use more varied linking words to improve flow.
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
Clarify the relationship between changes in export percentages.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, the percentage of exports to China and India increased, whereas exports to Japan and the USA decreased over the period.
Clarified the relationship and used more varied language.
RevisedConversely, exports to Japan and the USA showed a downward trend.
Improved transition and clarity.
RevisedAt the beginning of the period, exports to the USA exceeded ten percent.
Simplified the sentence structure for clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe remaining two countries showed an opposite trend.
Simplified sentence structure and corrected redundancy.
RevisedChina's share began one percent higher than India's and grew to five percent by 2000, continuing to rise until 2005 when it surged to nearly 30 percent by the end of the period.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
RevisedDespite the decline, Japan and the USA remained the primary export destinations.
Clarified meaning and improved grammatical accuracy.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though there is some repetition.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe line graph illustrates the percentage of Australian exports to Japan, the USA, China, and India from 1990 to 2012.
Used 'illustrates' to add variety.
RevisedSubsequently, it rose steadily and peaked at eight percent in 2008.
Used synonyms to avoid repetition and improve precision.
RevisedThis percentage varied until 2010, eventually declining to around seventeen percent in 2012.
Improved lexical variety and clarity.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task well, providing an overview and detailed information.

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