Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #17, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

211 words. Marked by Axiom on 29 January 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in % of Australian exports. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Australian exports to four countries (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (% of Australian exports)
	Japan	US	China	India
1990	26	11	2	1
1995	20	8	3	1
2000	18	11	5	1
2005	18	8	11	5
2010	17	5	25	7
2012	17	7	28	5

Academic Task 1211 words

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The graph compares percentage of how much Australia exported to four countries during 22-year-period, beginning in 1990. Overall, import figures of China and India showed upward trends, while the opposite was true for those of Japan and US.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOverall, the export figures to China and India showed upward trends, while those to Japan and the US displayed downward trends.
The sentence is rephrased for clarity and to better connect the ideas.

Regarding the falling dynamics, although the proportion of exports to Japan was the highest among the others, indicating around 25% in the beginning of the timeframe, it gradually declined with fluctuations throughout the period, finishing the span 5% less than its starting point. As for US imports from Australia, in 1990, the proportion of it was just above 10% before decreasing to approximately 8%. After which the share of US grew to its previous point, following by dropping to about 5% in 2012.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAlthough exports to Japan started at around 25%, the highest among the four countries, they gradually declined with fluctuations, ending the period 5% lower than the starting point.
The sentence is restructured for clarity and conciseness.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1990, exports to the US were just above 10% but decreased to approximately 8% before rising again.
The sentence is revised for clarity and to accurately reflect the data.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedAfterwards, the share of exports to the US grew back to its previous level before dropping to about 5% in 2012.
Corrected sentence structure for clarity.

According to the rate of exports from Australia to China and India, both illustrated increasing with huge distinction. In the beginning of the span, they showed very little percentage as opposed to the two huge importers. Initially, both countries’ imports were equal to around 2%, before the former increased noticeably to nearly 12% until 2010, whereas the latter reached merely 8% at the same time and followed by stability during the rest of the period. However, the export shares for China continued climbing dramatically to 30% when the time ended.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedExports to China and India both increased significantly, though at different rates.
Rephrased for clarity and precision.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedInitially, exports to both countries were around 2%. Exports to China then increased to nearly 12% by 2010, while those to India reached 8% and remained stable.
Revised for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedHowever, exports to China continued to climb dramatically, reaching 30% by the end of the period.
Clarified and restructured for better flow.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with clarity and flow, particularly in the transitions between ideas.

Suggestions

Use clearer transitions between paragraphs.
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Clarify the relationship between the trends discussed.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOverall, the export figures to China and India showed upward trends, while those to Japan and the US displayed downward trends.
The sentence is rephrased for clarity and to better connect the ideas.
RevisedAlthough exports to Japan started at around 25%, the highest among the four countries, they gradually declined with fluctuations, ending the period 5% lower than the starting point.
The sentence is restructured for clarity and conciseness.
RevisedIn 1990, exports to the US were just above 10% but decreased to approximately 8% before rising again.
The sentence is revised for clarity and to accurately reflect the data.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are issues with sentence structure and agreement.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn 1990, exports to the US were just above 10% before decreasing to approximately 8%.
Corrected for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
RevisedInitially, exports to both countries were around 2%. Exports to China then increased to nearly 12% by 2010, while those to India reached 8% and remained stable.
Revised for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
RevisedAfterwards, the share of exports to the US grew back to its previous level before dropping to about 5% in 2012.
Corrected sentence structure for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, though some expressions could be more precise.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedAlthough exports to Japan were initially the highest at around 25%, they gradually declined with fluctuations, ending 5% lower.
Simplified for clarity and precision.
RevisedExports to China and India both increased significantly, though at different rates.
Rephrased for clarity and precision.
RevisedHowever, exports to China continued to climb dramatically, reaching 30% by the end of the period.
Clarified and restructured for better flow.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and includes relevant data from the graph. However, some details could be more clearly explained.

Suggestions

Ensure all key trends are clearly explained.
Provide more specific data points to support descriptions.

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