Employment in five types of work: IELTS Task 1 answer #74, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
152 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 February 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| 2001 | 2008 | |
|---|---|---|
| Sales | 155,000 | 165,000 |
| Accounting | 66,000 | 58,000 |
| Computing | 59,000 | 79,000 |
| Nursing | 56,000 | 60,000 |
| Farming | 29,000 | 19,000 |
Academic Task 1152 words
The chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
The bar chart gives information about
the number of workers in terms of their
workplace in a particular site of Australia
in 2001 and 2008.
Overall, sales, computing and nursing
saw increases, albeit to different extents,
while the reverse was true for accounting
and farming. It is also clear that the figure
for sales was the highest over the given
period.
Focusing on increases, the figures
for sales rose slightly from 157,000 to
approximately 162,000 in 2008. Sales still
remained first with this figure. The number
of workers for computing experienced
a significant growth from 60,000 to
around 80,000, which was the greatest
improvement compareed to nursing
(about 2,000) and sales(approximately
4,000).
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe trends in farming and accounting bucked the trend.
This revision provides a clearer connection to the overall trend being discussed.
The figure for accounting underwent a
marginal drop from around 64,000 to
about 60,000. There was a considerable
decrease in the number of people for
farming from approximately 30,000 to
around 20,000 in 2008.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through the text. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe trends in farming and accounting bucked the trend.
This revision provides a clearer connection to the overall trend being discussed.
RevisedSales still had the highest figure.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIt is also evident that sales had the highest figure over the given period.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe bar chart provides information about the number of workers and their workplaces in a particular region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
The revision clarifies that the information is about a region, not a 'site'.
RevisedOverall, there were increases in sales, computing, and nursing, although to different extents, while the opposite was true for accounting and farming.
The revision provides a more natural and clear sentence structure.
RevisedThe number of people working in farming saw a considerable decrease from approximately 30,000 to around 20,000 in 2008.
The revision provides a more natural and clear sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe figure for sales slightly increased from 157,000 to approximately 162,000 in 2008.
The word 'increased' is more appropriate in this context as it conveys the idea of a rise in number more clearly.
RevisedThe number of workers in computing experienced a significant increase from 60,000 to around 80,000, which was the largest growth compared to nursing (about 2,000) and sales(approximately 4,000).
The revised sentence uses the more appropriate term 'increase' and provides a clearer comparison.
RevisedThe number of workers in accounting underwent a slight decrease from around 64,000 to about 60,000.
The revised sentence is more precise and avoids the awkward use of 'figure' to represent a number of workers.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and clearly and logically presented.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data is accurately reported and clearly described.
- Make sure to fully explain the significance of the data and how it relates to the overall trend.
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