Technology and relationships: IELTS Task 2 essay #15, band 5.5

As we approach a world of technological advancement and addiction to devices, the question of whether new communication technology could affects negatively to social bondings has gained traction. While there are some drawbacks to social relationship with communicate modern technology, I believe that it is indeed important to communicate with modernized technology for social relatives to create long-term relatiuonships by continual online communications with their relatives from the distance.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedAs we move towards a world of technological advancement and device addiction, the question of whether new communication technology could negatively impact social relationships has gained traction.

   The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural phrasing.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedWhile there are some drawbacks to social relationships when using modern technology, I believe that it is indeed important to use technology for creating long-term relationships through continual online communications with family members from a distance.

   The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity of the idea.

Without a doubt, social relatives make conversations with modern technology and it decreases the level of relationships by the lack of care. If a new communication technology effects to the decrease the quality of social relationships, it is provide to weak social relationshops bonds, thereby leading to meet each other rarely. As a result, that can effects to decrease the level of interests to make face-to-face conversations, which leads to make fewer for their relationships. At a time, when many face-to-face is decreasing, the modern technology communication effect to negatively by weakened their social relationships can make a big difference, when it provides to increase the level lost relatives between the people.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedWithout a doubt, modern technology can hinder meaningful conversations, which may lead to a decrease in the quality of relationships due to a lack of care.

   The revised sentence provides a more accurate and coherent expression of the idea.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIf a new communication technology is capable of degrading the quality of social relationships, it can weaken the bonds, leading to infrequent meetings.

   The revised sentence provides a more coherent and grammatically accurate expression of the idea.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIn a time when face-to-face interactions are decreasing, modern communication technology can negatively impact social relationships, making a significant difference as it could enhance the feeling of connection between people.

   The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural phrasing.

From an overall perspective, new communication technology impacts, make stable relationships between them from the distance with low level of expenses. If modern communication technology affcets to make continual relationship bond between them, they can make conversations from the anywhere, thereby leading to avoid high level of payment for transporting. As a result, they can use it payment for their mobile internet and call, which leads to create a stable conversations without any expenses. At a time, when many people are facing problems with finance, making communications with modern technology can make a big difference, when it provides to avoid high level of waste money without make face-to face conversations.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOverall, new communication technology can facilitate stable relationships at a distance at a low cost, making it impactful.

   The revised sentence provides a more coherent and grammatically accurate expression of the idea.

In conclusions, making conversations by modern technology can effect to lose high level of care their relatives, I think it is indeed to important create a stable relationships without any expenses.